You're going to have to respond to comments when people post them.

I say this because your previous piece, Porpoise Teeth, has comments to which you have not replied and the item does not appear to have been edited. Also, in all the comments on the other things you have posted, there is, exactly, one response and that is to explain the message you wanted the poem to convey which, apparently, it did not.

So, if you're just looking to be told you are pretty, don't ask for truth.

For me, this is the only comment I shall make on your work until you start actually participating in the workshop. Participation is not merely vomiting words onto the page and waiting to be told you are the best poet in the history of the universe.

she is pretty..she is the polished best that the most
upper class of society has to offer....which is commercial
isms....which are sanctioned by the circus and secret
societies..writing in poetic brainwashing....like the moonies
would place the female violinsts at the airports to collect
change and the lonely rich heirs..(males) to draw into
the collective harem...........i studied brief cults..serial killers..
gang issues..political issues and the cities...structures..
symbolisms of mankind....my own heritage rich with its
own element of being goes on...secret societies and rituals
invite and initiation....

i know of and have known many wealthy patrons of the arts
and see the home beggars here in our city....

i read your works and find in them the short derivative of
words.....perplexing meanings....and i relate in the frustration
of fellow poets in making sense of the works.....

i write in a similar vein of writing....english is my only spoken
language....but i am well read book wise..some travel experience
lots of cinema study..photography...art...intuition...

i was recently introduced to lana and am working through all
her music slowly trying to understand her...which leads me to
understanding someone else....whom is trying to be understood
by another..etc....thus the music..somehow landing here
in my latest reads and perusing....

pondering...like any abstract work...or advertisement its all
mind mumbo jumbo too....and as has been observed what
sounds interesting does not always sell....unless there is just
the strict few buyers of such ponderance...

your work here makes me think of my work there..

my greatest trip is to walk to work....okay i have no money
most of it spent on women...no not that way.....i just dont
hoard mine..im not a misery...but maybe i am in understanding
of word work....like my emotional lack of expression at times
descripts much..feeling no.....throw out words of interpretation
that evokes feeling and its another thing....thats advertisement
like pop songs..pop poetry...i wonder about my work...
except i have so little time at times for responding..
so much here...

i had a very intelligent friend..nothing wrong with the brain people
i say...they give me my steps to get out of my head..movement
cautions when i wander too far to the edge or far from reality
i really do think like my poetry at times......im like everyone else
but everything else is out there....lana has her hold on the very
upper strata of the wonderland people..the wealthy....a lot of
time for them to ponder and a lot of the theories and theroms
taught to them at higher education and private insitutions are
basic grooming lands for much....

another great thing i do is read labels....safety and titles are big
in this country to everything from a sign in town to a bridgework
is tagged with information that is mumbo jumbo of business
names..locations..dates..etc...and ingredient lists and warning
lists are large too....

what im getting at is poetry like my friend noted today is like
a recipe....its a list of things words to ponder the mix..
and language is a funny beast...love is a strange creature
that kind of analogy is what goes on in my head all day long
and bits of paper with words etc i pick up and read..an ocd
habit of mine...

back to poetry..i love museums and window displays that can
afford to be oblique.. so i enjoy reading works...trying to figure
out poetry is a magic act at the best of times.. i had to read many
books about the authors to understand how to go about transforming
my thoughts into becoming a writer....

all i know is i read through it a few times
and i see some outlines here.some connections
there....trying to write good critique is another great
practise for me that i havent done lately..

if i was of upper class and british taught schooling
lower and upper i may have more sense of this
passage also....

the title suggests science which is meticulous but
also urges free verse kind of logic sometimes
which is why i find trades people interesting
they are far out there in thoughts at times
and yet operate in a very structured environment
with strict learned procedures that use the repetition
of words..codes...for maintenance...etc..

brothers suggests to me a fraternity...
not friends...so the title in my brain excludes
a set family
friend suggest singularity and brothers is plural
and in language in english is suggestive to
a pair...

whorl jumps out
because its base..archaic and modern
individual
also symbolisms use
this much
the primitive

animal
anima
animus
etc..

i like the comments because they are
honest and people spend time to write
them ..to respond to you and your works
like they do with mine..

i like how the title can be inclusive also
with the sociological and psychological
make up of brothers..be they biological
inheriting genes of a single parent or
two parents....or the interaction between
those sharing space
time

my only analogy is that people are taught
star constellations
from childhood
an old arabic dune traveller and sea worth

i can see words here...but i kind of just
make out this or that
i think like my works its too inclusive

but then again i may be just thinking
of you as a poetic brother...
but in reality we dont see faces
we could have fake profiles
using logorythmic poetry to be
writing here..
we could be anything

im making slow sense of lana
a lot of the industry of this is
propaganda

but thats been through of all
cultures...including music
of all ages..

anyway of course i had to jump
in here with my interpretation
of this..

humor homies....
good..i like your comments..
i never read chaucer...many i havent read..
and a lot of my knowledge comes from the intelligent
grade thirteens in high school...public...that got me to
read their books..i was in the lowest level..no maths..
poor marks...i drank whiskey and the pretti ones would
sit with me...i didnt date...too much worry..no job..daddies
money....machine assist poetry is not wrong...man builds
machines..the language we seek that we mispell most is
there...its just math and probability that brings it up on the
screen for us...we make the machines...but its humans
that read the poetry...i know you are brigbt...meticulous...
articulate....i like that we write similar..the comments i
have recieved already to explain my poetry better tells me
to write in the common field..but i like the reference library
where i hung out...everyone else was in the study hall below
more social...more confortable...intelligence was my walls..
social rejection for me was common..i still take everyone to
heart....still wrapped in drama.....but i love poetry..i love the
use of language stretched in its meaning or compacted folded
unto itself to express itself outside the box.....i live poetry..
and i like reading the works...tonights news was about
poetry so i guess i know its very relevant today...

again..thank you for your poem emeka !