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They are buried away, far away.
The tempest lights the skies above me
Clouds twisting,
as they bellow hurricane winds
The momentary still of the sea
before it trembles at the roar of the maelstrom.
I glide through the water with purpose,
chased down by memories,
Burning emotions that hunt my conscious mind
like ravenous hounds…
My foot sinks into the snow.
The distant sniping of teeth carries in the blizzard
Wind and icy snow break on my face like needles
as I gaze at the last sunset.
I step into the cavernous abyss
The wind quiets with each step,
the darkness descends
I am.
I am not…
The water runs down my legs
The sands rise to drink the cascading drops off my feet.
Re-spawned from The Void.
A passing sting of the sun in my eyes
The silent ping of the new World in my ears
It dims, presenting a face-less crowd
to the panorama of my eyes
Ghosts to me,
and I to them.
The sunset gleams out of the corner of my eye.
… what was left in the hollow remains.
Thrashing wildly to break free
and pursue me once more.

2014/06/18 MML

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


This sounds like something from Homer or the story of Jasons feelings as he strove to carry out his search for the Golden Fleece, but I guess not.
It wanders a little and there's an urgency in it like having a Three headed Dog snapping at your heals.
The theme is a mixture and could be more pure in its logical progression.
Give my love to South Africa and tell it I miss it so,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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