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CBT over BPD2

Uh oh...

Life's good,
mood is up
so I should
be careful.

Great idea!
do it now!
got to somehow
yes, that's it
and that and that and that

[stop, breathe]

yes but
I could
I should
can't wait
I can't I will until
and then and then and then

[stop, breathe, think]

shut up don't get in my fucking way
it's my day my hour my minute
my fucking second!
now now now
I can and must and that too
fuck with me I'll fuck with you

[stop, breathe, think-
it can happen
just later]

nonono
nownownow...

[sighs]

Still, in a white bowl
on a glasstop table
float frangipanis

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
CBT = Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. BPD2 = BiPolar Disorder type 2. Although at times I think of it as BiPolar Enhancement
Editing stage: 

Comments

that last stanza is supposed to be a haiku.

I'm not sure about our wording yet. I want a picture, not an action.

Thanks oh staunch insightful one.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

and great to see you again mate,

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I hear you on this one. Sometimes our frustations can send us sailing or back flipping crazy. I like the picture of the bowl of frangipangis. That image is good and the descriptive writing is spot on. I myself have ventured some in creative writing and learning a lot. I love poetry but I wanted to get a knack for essay writing and freelance writing. Maybe soon I will post a true story I did just recently. Do we still have that feature in here and when will we get to our chatting sessions. I looked forward to that on Saturday nite with Geezs and company. Let me know when it goes live again. Cheers on getting your feelings out and that is what writing is all about the good and the bad. We should never pull our hair out when it comes to our expressive writings. You did just that here.

You know Valentines Day is almost here and I want to hear or read your love poem. lol

Ciao for now Elf
xoxox

erk!
[the elf develops a nasty little allergic rash]

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Admit it! under that mean little Rumplestiltskin is the rash skin of a weirdelf, under that beats the heart of Jess, a man for all seasons, all mood disorders and I wouldn't change a hair on his chiney chin chin.

low bow to the haiku maker, no OCD he.

~A

to the goddess of infinite compassion, insight and naughty bits.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Maniacal God-complex I-can-do-absolutely-anything upswing (pause) in instantaneous action ramping up into anger...

....and the stillness needed for life to have any depth of normalcy to it.

Jesus I know THAT feeling so well, it runs in the family.

Excellent poetry, and it good to see you back.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

in sharing we are not alone and perhaps a little more understood.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

This does deliver the moody swing ...
the only thing that bothered me was one
line, and no matter how many times I read
it, I stumble.
"fuck with me and I'll fuck up you" - is this
how you would say it, if it is, it's just me, but
I think I'd say it like
"fuck with me and I'll fuck you up" - or -
"fuck with me and I'll fuck with you" ...
either way, I've enjoyed it each time I've read it.

Richard

but
"fuck with me and I'll fuck with you"
works.
Making the change now,
thanks mate.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Well spotted, thanks Xena
change made.

I have an agenda with this poem, to raise awareness of BPD. See Jim's comment? Others with BPD I have shown it to have been stunned by the accuracy of the description. I'm pretty sure you've never taken acid have you? I seem to remember a... discussion we had about an anti drug poem you wrote some time ago. I still maintain that one should write about what one knows.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

sorry if my reply seemed a little sharp

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

or did you mean you have no suggestions?
Whatever, thanks, my friend.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

in a way I am not sure that was meant, but what the hell? I am a prograstinator, of epic proportions. It's a wonder I ever get anything done. I realise that my mind races from one thing to another so fast, that I have trouble focusing. I was however able to focus long enough, to come up with a possible Haiku for your ending.
How about : The glasstop table
floats a white bowl
staring frangipanis

Great feel to this one, ~ Gee

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Frangipani! What a brilliant ending.
I love the poem.

IRiz

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