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Catching The Mood of The Rain

I wonder what mood
has the rain!

Does it feel happy
To wash mother
nature's pain?
Does it feel sad
And fall as a sign
of complaint!

Or maybe it just goes
Mad because of
Man's insanity?

I wonder

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 

Comments

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Good idea to so animate the rain! Last stanza is problematic for me;

Or maybe it just goes
Mad because of
humanity's insane?

the syntax...correct would be "humanity's insanity" but that doesn't sound good. Then there's the problem for mad vs insane...colloquially they are both the same.
There are so many ways to say what it is obvious what you are trying to say, I would play with it bit more, maybe by describing the madness, with images, it could be so illustrated and not so directly presented.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

highly appreciate your feedback. Hope it reads better after the edit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

the basic syntax now fits better. A short poem, but power packed!

(Sorry about the multiple posts, not sure how that happened.)

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

that could work as well...
or just drop the 'of'
Later,

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

Thank you for taking the time Mark to comment and for the suggestion.
Much appreciated.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

good poem to imagine nature's mood..
................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

My pleasure. I'm pleased to know you like it.
Thank you.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I hope I captured it well.

.
.
That's how I see it,

Mark L.

Appreciate the approval.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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author comment

being a poem based on imagination I feel "I wonder" is a good ending...it could also be

I wonder
while I wander
in the clouds..
..................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

I see your imagination is even works better. That's a lovely ending indeed.
Thank you

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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author comment
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