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Catching Dreams

As the wild summer breeze took hold,
And I sat under my favorite baobab
Looking up, to see all the magnificence of this
seemingly upside down tree
I saw my heart fluttering above my head

All the while, I could hear the echo of the birds
Having a bath in the sweetness of their own voices
Splashing their musical notes, upon my mind

Reaching up to catch my heart,
As it swayed from side to side, to sweet music,
It moved slightly, and then I watch it gently float away
Into tomorrow’s dream.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
i'm out of my comfort zone with this one, Its a very new style for me. however i think if we stretch we grow!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hi,Teddy,
This is such a gentle poem. (Wow! Were you really sitting under a Baobab? How awesome!) I was especially drawn to the image of the birds bathing and splashing in their musical notes. If you were out of your comfort zone with this, it isn't obvious - it flows so naturally. All very lovely.
Thank you!
L

i have indeed sat in real life under a baobab, the truth is that i am sure i was actually standing in awe feeling like it was a dream, a few years ago i was lucky enough to visit Madagascar.

Having written this in the middle of the night i just knew it was meant to be here at least someone could tell me if it was bullsh.t, lol however i am most encouraged by your review. Lavender i am not sure of the title, i would have liked one that seemed more "dare i say a bit more intelligent" if you have any ideas come back and tell me.

Thank you for always being an inspiration, and finding things inside my work that sometimes are even a mystery to me.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Interesting that you mentioned the title, which I thought was good - but while reading, I pictured the Baobab as a 'Dream Catcher.' Again, such a very lovely poem!
L

Thank you so much for your rich input. I actually like my title now.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

It is wonderful!
L

,

How nice of you to present yourself here under my dreams, why thank you kind one!

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

happy 15

Always...

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

it is not readily apprent that you are out of your comfort zone with this one. I too, like the title and the reference to an upside-down tree, it goes well with the theme of being being befuddled in a lazy dream. [echo] Nice work. ~ Geez.
.

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So when I was in Madagascar my tour guide told me the most interesting story which was that, the baobab loved them selves so much that God turned them upside down as punishment, what ever else be it a wonderful myth and I don't know if you have seen a real one but on Google you will see what I mean. They are if nothing else magical and mysterious. Thank you for your kind and encouraging comment, I have no idea why I wrote this but it sent me to my computer at the early hours something that is rare for me. I'm sure it happens to you too.

Out of my comfort zone 100% On this one but I am delighted you have seen its quality

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

I too have been fortunate to be among the Baobabs in Zambia and Madagascar so the poem drew me right in.

A really nice work. one small suggestion about ending a poem with "..."
I don't think it needs it. The poem ends with a declaration sense, not a fade out, to me,
Also i think a typo with "echo"

Nice to meet you

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

I have edited thank you!
You are really kind.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment
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