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Cat & eddy styx

Cat And eddy styx

I am both:
the monster who perpetrates
and the victim who bears
the heinous, brutal attack
I become strangled in my snares.

yet I am both Cat & eddy styx
as "Cat" I support charities
and as "eddy styx" I am
the creator of vulgarities.

I am David the man who violated me
giving birth to another Ripper,
and the frightened woman child
who is both a whore and a Stripper.

fervently, asking for god's help
left on my own, alas no answer came
only this spark of rage deep in my heart
when fanned it becomes a mighty flame.

as this new Ripper, I do go forth
mayhem and murder my tools of my right,
my demeanor and fair face changes
as I search throughout the night.

Cat would take a backseat to my hunger
as eddy styx comes forward to ply his trade.
new memories of blood and crimes were made
each night eddy sharpened and honed his blade!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
big thanks to Scribbler!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like the change in rhyme pattern in last stanza.Now a few suggested tweaks :
line 5 try something like being strangled in my snares
line 4 in stanza 3. Try who is both a whore and stripper
stanza 4 line 2 try alas no answer came

Well I better shut up now lest eddy decides to pay me a visit lol
PS a good poem about the duality we all carry within

for the advice and changes. I feel it is much better now >{^*;*^}<

*hugs, Cat

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author comment

This is really good, I think the ending does a good job of taking it full circle about being the "monster and victim". I woudnt mind reading more material on asking for gods help, or the speakers relationship w church/god in general.

how are you doing? I hope you are well. I renounced all organized religion a very long time ago. living with my fanatically religious grandmother (for a year) when I was a child and being abused by her and a few other bad experiences, put me off god. I felt I had been abandoned by god. by the time I was 18 I cursed god for his lack of caring. and I found the Goddess of Earth religion. I do still keep some of the other god's rules and laws.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

I love the reveal of both identities. The descriptions of each are intense and keep you wanting to learn more about Cat and Eddy. I look forward to more of their writing's and collaborations.

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. we thank you for realizing what most do not, that we are two separate personalities who just happen to occupy the same body! we will always remember and appreciate you. this poem was an experiment, to see how it would work out. this piece spoke of the birth of eddy styx. accessing that part of our being, I can write things that Cat finds deplorable, but release the rage we both have. and it is only the written word (or is it???)

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

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author comment

Are always born of the original personality...whether to help cope, protect or explore our deepest darkest emotions, rage being a particular favorite. I look forward to seeing more from the two of you.

Join in our collaborative poem workshop. Each member will have a chance to write two stanzas at least four lines each. The stanzas must be relative to the poem.

exactly so!!!

ever, eddy
*hugs,, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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author comment

I bet this poem can be developed to a Netflix movie. Very scenic and deep usage of imagery. The story resonates with our personal realities and stages in life and growth processes.

Enjoyable read.

Ifeanyichukwu

what you have said is very true. thank you for reading my poem. I'm glad that you liked it!

ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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