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Carpe Diem

If the sun rises
into your eyes
and the cheek,

if the super moon
still sends out its
beams of light,

if rain drops
wash your weariness,
while gently you
caress the clouds,

if the rainbow with
colors paints
your hazy days
and the world's,

why should you still pale?

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I pale because the beauty is only mine,
A self watching the sun rise and the super moon glow.
Then I search with a beam of their light
I see the children in their plight,
I Cry
I look further than the man next door.
I watch the children who crawl on the floor
They have no water or food to sustain them
I Cry,
I see a Father finding his daughter or son
After racing away from the sound of a gun.
I Cry
I Know I am safe where I live today,
I Cry

I choose not to seize the day xx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

but then life is going on anyways!
Thanks for your touching comment Ian.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

i like the word traffic....not because of the connotation to drugs..
but for what it is..a counter of motion
steps.......

this is not a sidestreet poem
its well written
im starting to feel more of the mechanics
of poetry.....a sound of it like clockwork
heartbeat more like...

the last line
a question

pale denotes
a stopping
the usual marker
of how people look
stress reducing the blood
flow to the face
usually flushing
with passion..anger
shame..rage..
a tell

pale is from lack of sleep
lack of rest
the spirit troubled
under duress

im starting to write
poetry....
i like the happiness
the fact that our great
signs of release
rainbows after the
confrontation
of weathers and an old
biblical reference
of a deluge
an overwhelming
thing....and the moon
something now..supermoon
would be like writing
about the comet
of 1909
the meteorite a season or two
ago now

pale also means a lighter shade
which could denote a white flag
or thought.....
like surrendering a question
and pale could mean
death

death rode the pale horse
etc...

i like that you put in effort to
recover my work sitting
where it was

it was if it was misunderstood
and taking up space on a land
it was written about how it was
mocked being there
hated almost in context
as if one could expell it from
that space like a land
perhaps i loved just being there
different in my belief in the poem
even though the meaning
was almost in a different
voice..different race
different garb

how we love that of which we
love
and push to shove
we become
darker
the passion
the emblazed

pale could mean moon
a reflection literally of
the sun but a reflection
too in regards to the state
of all things

a great poem Rula

thank you!

how does a small word bring up all these thoughts, isnt it?

I am happy you find this worthy to read. Due to the very few comments , in fact only Ian ommented earlier,
I thought I have commited a felony by submitting this piece.

Thank you Esker.
You made my day.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

arrive a head of mixed thoughts..
and we hear from the many voices here..
writing..speaking..we read..
and sometimes its like....that was different
and you pause..i pause with tilted head
..

a friend from treatment a good counseller
not mine in 1991 came to me and told me
that other people had worked very hard trying
to write something that would help me
said people took a whole page..they erased it
and started over again.. people work hard
here for their poems...
and i forget this at times..

but your comment about traffic got my attention
so i read it more carefully and fathomed it slowly
out its weight..its meaning..
its more ..
the moon and rainbows and the last line
i overlooked initially
not understanding it
then....

i thought it was about love
which it is
...but a more deeper love
thank you for your work
this poem..

thank you!

Can anyone see me?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I am sure Esker's positive comment on your poem and Ian's response must have boosted your self confidence by a few more notches. It is really nice to see your poetry continually evolve to a new level. It would be interesting to read Wesley's comment which I am sure you would be looking forward to as your long time Mentor.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

But Raj!!!!
Were you reading my thoughts? :)

I doubt that any of my late ones would quench Mr. Wesley's thirst .
But truly I admire everyone's visit.
Thank you for the nice comment. I really appreciate it.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

What a lovely little white butterfly of advice
as you caress the clouds of despair
you see out into the beauty of the atmosphere,
in rhythmically addressed phrases,
like a "strain" from a harp in the moonlight.

Love to you from Ann, still in Norway in the sun,
this year has seen 40%C on the veranda-IN THE SHADE!
As in this poem, nature has blossomed and should be caressed.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I really missed you and your poetry. It's always great to hear from you. You make me feel like so special when you come with your generous visits.
love to you wherever you are xxxx

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

when even in the ruins of social disorders
the cruel imagery of violence has its pang of beauty..
Thank You!

I like the concept depicted here, and the way you have touched upon things not entirely tangible! This shows a talent that is blossoming even more!

I am sorry for being late as the workshop is consuming most of the time.
I am happy you found in this something worthy to read and leave such a nice comment.
best regards to you and yours.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

lonnie your comments are awesome and true....your poems too are sliding into that grace of feeling
that i hope to be able to be like....The Elf is correct....another trickster....i see it....sometimes you just
dont see things.....but im starting too..yah i like this poem too....read it again...
thank you Rula for all of this...

Can't thank you enough.
you are so kind to pay me another visit. I really appreciate it.
Best regards.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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