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can I take you down?
to the river or the sea?
call down to earth
land on a sharp end of me
thoughts are in mind

can we be something?

I have been in love before
I have been hurt
can you heal my heart?
can you make me happy again?
can your soul save mine?

I might refer to love
but mean true love

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage: 


Too many questions, even rhetorical ones, tell us little.
Love poems are by far the hardest form in which to say anything original or individual.
The line
land on a sharp end of me
is problematic. What do you mean?

I suggest you read a lot more poetry. You may find yourself a little embarrassed that so many poets have said virtually the same thing.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

Love poem can indeed be tough.In my opinion a poem filled with questions can be alright if they're the Right questions. To tame this one's inquisitiveness a bit, try omitting All question marks then read it over and put back only the ones which are needed the most........stan

This, if it is about the love of your country or the love of another just read the comments and as Jess suggests try and read or feel the poetry of the great masters, me at 73 am still learning about these things but started late lol, you have many years to go and from your imagination I believe you will excel in poetry.
So listen to Jess and take all the best things from others it is not easy this writing thing.
Go well young one and don't forget to answer your critics it is the way to learn,
Yours Ian

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

thanks guys

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