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I took my words out to you
Many tried to be the best but you made it life
I could not say you are the best
Only my love for you meant the best
I can say you are mine for life in me is about you
you made me smile a year ago and now you still do

how do they slaughter you when you are mine
a cow you are not
many are mercy full
love is just nothing in life
I am you and you are the world to me

I cant bare seeing you run away from my life with my love
I took a lot of life to commit myself to you and you only
my heart was made to pump blood but it pumps fear now
the love we shared is just a way of living alone again

how do you turn your back on m love for you?
what did I do wrong?
what where my words out to you?
did I make you angry?
is it time I move on without you?
is there life without you?

can we be something?
please don't make me move away from you
don't call me out to be a stranger

I want to be strong
I want to face my life with you
please say a word to my words

can I just have you?
only to just make you see my love for you?

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


Your words are a cry from the feelings, and run riot with your thoughts.
As you say treat this with care I shall talk of this later when things are right and the edits and form can wait,
I see you and will wait for you to settle here, the workshops will let you know of all you need, to compose great poetry.
Take care out there Yours Ian.T
PS:- Ellisras is a place I have stayed for work and loved the place, I use to write in the café there, for the Manageress, she would bring me a pad and pen each time I visited there.
I worked on the radio Transmitters there on the hill tops, it is late I will wait and then talk more..

Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

thanks for your input it means a lot and shows that at least I am getting somewhere with this poetry things thanks a lot

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