Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Can I have my life back

Why am I still here?
Why do you insist on keeping down me here,
Just to make my life more miserable.
Why do you make me hang on?
Hold on for dear life when I’ve been slowly loosing it.
Why do you take away all my fun, everything I do in life to enjoy,
gone.
I wanted to live, but everything that’s worth living for, you took from me.
Being happy everyday, trying to be faithful,
I’m crumbling inside, lying to everyone.
I plead with you, and you don’t answer.
I beg for my life back, but I don’t receive.
What do you want from me?
Is this a trial of my faith?
I’ve been hanging on for so long,
What more do you want from me?
You’ve taken what I put my heart into,
Making me watch other people achieve My dreams.
Why do you choose to answer me, finally when I was adjusting?
The answers you give, undoing all my work and adjusting to my life.
Taking away more of my dreams, my aspirations.
I was all good, moving on,
Then you snatched it away.
Took my hope and turned it into pain.
Used it against me,
Choking me up in my words.
Tears streaming down my face as I reminisce about the life I once had.
The life I so badly want back.
The months of pain I finally adjusted to, just for you to remind me I’m broken
The friendships you took from me, just to give them back, and make others more painful again.
You take away my feelings, then give them back when I would rather do without.
Can I have my life back?
How much asking do I have to do for you to hear me?
What more do you want from me?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Are we talking about a relationship with a person or are we talking about depression or mental illness? This really can be applied to both but either way the tone is pretty desperate and so I’ve got to ask, are you OK? Are you safe? Disregard that if it’s none of my business but I’m always concerned for my fellow artists.

Why am I still here?
Why do you insist on keeping (me) down here,
Just to make my life more miserable.
Why do you make me hang on?
Hold on for dear life when I’ve been slowly (losing) it.

Why do you (choose) to answer me, finally when I was adjusting?

The answers you give, undoing all my work (and) adjustment to my life.

I’d make the corrections there. Typos for the most part. That last correction I made I’d play around with. I didn’t want to change the wording around too much and I think it conveys your thought more coherently to the reader but it could probably be better.

I’m sorry you’re feeling unhappy and dejected. I think expressing it through writing is a really healthy effective way to process these difficult feelings. My offer to talk is open ended and I wish you better days ahead. It’s my experience that it can and will get better.

Tim

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.