Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Campsite #25

Full of nature, so alive,
that was campsite #25,
bear, squirrels, and deer,
water music, twenty feet near.
Pine sentries on upper banks,
different heights, different ranks.
Guarding hidden fissured hallways,
shale plates of ochre, sienna, greys,
exposing the genesis stratum,
of this hidden kingdom.
This road mapped precipice,
sure to entice,
all who venture,
to this wonderment of nature.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is about a site where I spent two weeks painting a canvas in the David Thompson foothills here in Alberta.(Crescent Falls, Nordeg, Alberta) The painting has been posted on Instagram under #trekkerdekker. That shows what I woke up to every morning there. The warden informed me it was the most coveted site in the campground. True solitude, true silence, true nature, I hope heaven is like this!
Editing stage: 

Comments

Tell you what? you now have two paintings...one which you you say you made on Canvas...and one which you have painted here in words...enter this in April Contest...the judge is going to have a tough time...best wishes..
...............................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Pleasure to read, sweet story

IRiz

A smooth and enjoyable read.
Just a suggestion

Line three,
"bear, squirrels, and deer,"
try if .. squirrels, bear [s] and deer[s]
works better for you. You don't need to sacrifice the plurals for the sake of the rhyme plus it reads smoother, at least for me.
V. much enjoyed

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Even more so now.
Thanks, many memories come back.
Perhaps I'll post my camping poem :~)

mark
Director of Community Outreach

"The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape... " (Picasso)

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.