Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Camelot's End (Wes 3 Classic Poetic Forms WS)
Where lies your grave, my king?
My heart, it bleeds for you
when birds no longer sing.
Your knights, still live, but few.
They're lost without your will
They hide to plan anew.
Poor Merlin's hands are still
His staff is broken now
and Camelot is ill.
The mage will not allow
the witch to find your grave
She strikes to make him bow
but Merlin stands, so brave.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
This is a Terza Rima
Editing stage:
Workshop:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
singapore
Favorite Poets
Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
Rula
Tue, 2016-01-12 05:35
Salam Khalid
The story is fine and the rhyme and rhythm too, but l don't know why I have expected longer lines.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
alidzain
Tue, 2016-01-12 07:58
Salam, Rula
Perhaps you think it will be better if I write in iambic pentameter?
Alid
author commentRula
Wed, 2016-01-13 09:55
mmmm
That what I wanted, but after sir Wesley's comment, you don't even need my opinion.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
alidzain
Wed, 2016-01-13 10:18
Salam, Rula
Actually I'm trying to form a variety in meter in this new form so I decided not to use the most common meter.
Alid
author commentwesley snow
Tue, 2016-01-12 18:22
Iambic pentameter
is the most common, but it is not set in granite. Any meter will do if it is consistent. It is the rhyme scheme that is the trick.
This is absolutely the best Arthur I've read. A beautiful Terza Rima and the workshop hasn't even started.
Bravo.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
alidzain
Tue, 2016-01-12 19:01
Wes
Thank you for the visit, read and the comment.
Alid
author commentGeezer
Tue, 2016-01-12 20:04
I echo...
Wes' comments. Great start and we haven't even started yet! You will do very well In this workshop.
I will have to keep an eye on you and emulate your fine writing. Thank you for showing how it is done. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
alidzain
Wed, 2016-01-13 09:17
Gee
thanks for the read and the comments. I hope I can keep this good progress constant throughout the workshop.
Alid
author comment