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Call me

If you call I'll answer to ...

call me by great grandmother’s name be Atlanta Lockheart Jolly
What say about who I be
I say call me Annabelle, Enola, Emma but remember to just call me
By my name ...born Lydia Elizabeth slave name , given name
From ancestors born to spirituals, rolling rituals out Alabama swamps
Deep boondocks passing water run off into the Carolinas
I be off reservations thru generations of miscegenation
Raped, ripped out of ancient wombs
Still agape wounds , unhealed wombs, lacerated ... tortured wombs
Stood to travel into this child
Woman of this blood all sides
Born tribes w/ troubled alcoholics
Hot tempered from homemade fire water
Years de-sensitize … peer into these eyes
You’ll witness battles waiting to be born
Eyes testify prophesies in I is the Holy Quran
In eye is the Bible according to eye-story... it be eye
great great granddaughter to … Atlanta Lockheart Jolly and Clarence Jolly
From all sides of Gullah Island
eye gather myself relentless with an abundance of rich soil earth in I
Urge to hide inside temples of Mortals live forever a stranger to thyself threads gossamer vail
Born out spirit womb of story tellers, soothsayer’s and slaves ...
blood positive Black Foots, rebels , lovers, kin to sin a friend to none
Eye and we be the one chosen to trace roots crawling along the Blue Ridge Mountains
Falling out of the crow woods of Lynchburg confederate cry …
be the great great granddaughter to Annabelle and William Hagar...great great granddaughter Erving and Lucy (Vickers) Phillips
And granddaughter to Enola Vickers Phillips and Charles Burton Percy
daughter to strange tag Hardelia and William Henry Percy Sr.
sister, mother, some man's woman, never a wife, lover, renegade, teacher, palm reader and truth seeker...Adah be the amulet keeper birth out the canals of war blood inherent Narragansett Comanche Indians ...Tribe eye of all sides rooted deep the we and I ...

Lepadah

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

is stunning, full of word realities and history telling. I can't imagine condensing any of it into a poem, rather than this prose form but you have so much to say that is truth revealed, I am certain your poems will be just as powerful anyway. Thank you for sharing this.

Respectfully,

~ Marthalyn

Love hearing from you and appreciate your support and comments.

Namaste
Lep

Lydia Elizabeth Percy

author comment

This is prose, and I'm sure that your poetry can and will be just as riveting as your story here. Welcome to Neo.! I hope hat you will find all the things that you need here. Join our workshops, enter our contests and have a great time! ~ Geezer.
.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Thank you all for your comments.

Namaste
Lep

Lydia Elizabeth Percy

author comment

This is absolutely poetry: demanding, painful,vivid, proud, joyous and absolutely in your face.
Most excellent.
The cadence and flow are definitely there, all you need to do is edit:
Shorten the lines without changing their meaning or their power.
example:
'Urge to hide inside temples of Mortals live forever a stranger to thyself threads gossamer vail'

'Urge to hide
inside temples of Mortals
live forever
a stranger to thyself
threads gossamer vail'

Sorry, I don't usually do this, but damn, this is good. Think about the structure of the lines,their length...read the poem aloud, with the cadence you know is there, and you will find the places where lines naturally end and begin. Structure emphasizes cadence and focuses meaning, in poetry.
No rhyme...it doesn't need rhyme in any formal, structured way, because it already has enough to make it flow.
Don't use word abbreviations, like 'w/' for 'with'; this poetry deserves every word clear.
And normally I would say pare down the extra, superfluous little words like 'an' and 'the' as much as possible...
...but not here. Every word deserves its place.
My only real critique; towards the end it tends to read a bit like a genealogical list. I know that it should, and indeed it must, but try a couple of things, like interspersing the names with some descriptions of their bondage, their struggle, the places where they loved and worshipped...
Ok I'll shut up now.
But...welcome welcome welcome to Neopoet as well! It's been a while since I read something this good.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Thank you for much appreciated comments and critique is always welcome.
Namaste
Lep

Lydia Elizabeth Percy

author comment

Thank you for much appreciated comments and critique is always welcome.
Namaste
Lep

Lydia Elizabeth Percy

author comment

Read it aloud! This is poetry in its truest sense, power, passion and truth.
Never forget poetry is primarily voice, the poets voice, a people's voice, a plethora of voices.

I felt honoured to read this aloud, Lepadah, and I hope you can forgive my male, Australian accent.

My reading is at
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/call-me-by-lep

Marthalyn and Geezer, either listen to my reading or read it aloud to yourself.
This is seriously crafted and passionate work, rich and textural.

Lepadah, may I have your permission to post this to our Neopoet Facebook page?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Mary Daly's "Pure Lust", haven't you? I'm probably one of the few males who also has.
If you haven't I'm sure you would love her.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Namaste Jess!

Always welcome your critique and comments as you wish is fine with me.
Thank you!
.lepadah

Lydia Elizabeth Percy

author comment
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