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Cacophony (Complete Poem- Start to Finish WS)

Bleary, blurry eyes,
Stuffy, red nose.
Dragging the legs,
with numbing toes.

Woozy head's dizzy,
sneezin' and sneezin'.
Fevered body's tizzy,
wheezin' and wheezin'.

Please don't start,
not all this pain,
Please don't start,
not the flu again!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

A true cacophony of rhyme, so the title fits pretty well with the verses. I could relate to it even more because right now I am nursing a sneezing nose ...after reading your poem I hope it is not flu ) A nice complete poem starting from symptoms to the eventual flu....being in draft stage I am sure you may want to tweak the last stanza...just a thought...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I am sorry if my poem passed you some of the flu's symptoms. :)
Thanks for your kind words. Please be safe.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

It was only a co-incidence that you posted the poem while i had caught a cold. My comments were just in humor. Fortunately, the poem did not escalate into Flu :)

raj (sublime_ocean)

You're brilliant, Rula. :)

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

:)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

:)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

What can I say, Rula? I'm always a fan of your works.
Dear Raj, bless you. Don't forget to take your meds.
To you, Sir Knight.I agree with you.

God bless
Alid

Thanks for your kind visit. I am happy you liked this one.
It is something I wanted to write a while ago.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

My reading.
Please forgive faults and errors,
I'm trying to do a reading for everyone in the workshop.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ETt14UXXKX

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

an expressive reading. Highly valued.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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