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Burn
I guess it’s over now
But what else can I expect?
All of those days you left me
Waiting on your front door steps
There’s no point in asking how
So here’s my heart for hire
I’ll look until my eyes roll back
Until I find that fire
Burn
I’m going up in flames
To ashes in the air
All my life was cold and now
It seems like you don’t care
This heat is getting heavy
Pressure on my head
You meant to call my name
You said “lover” instead
The promises we made
In notes and in the creases
Love you all to bits
If you would love me to pieces
Yes, that’s what I’m doing now
I’m just falling apart
I’m bad at breathing through the night
Teach my lips how to start
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
i honestly have no idea what this is; it kinda just came out. suggestions welcome!
Editing stage:
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Comments
Starlight
Wed, 2012-03-21 23:25
and you
always creeping up and stealing the spotlight like maggies do. I really like this one a lot. andddd we both like to write about fire! :D hehe i lurve this a lot. in face, im going to go read it again right now.
Starlight
Wed, 2012-03-21 23:26
ps....
FACT not face. oopss
emogothgirl
Thu, 2012-03-22 08:34
yeah okay
stealing the spotlight? whatever you say.
thanks,
mag
Starlight
Thu, 2012-03-22 16:20
well
i didn't mean stealing the spotlight, i mean like ... i didnt mean it in a mean way. :( its just really good and deserves to be taught in an english class somewhere, someday.
emogothgirl
Thu, 2012-03-22 20:33
well, lonnie
if you really want to see what it is just look at my other stuff lol
thanks,
mag