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The bright brown sparrow

The bright brown sparrow so light so narrow
shoots like an
arrow up into the cool misty blue sky
Leaving behind a red ray of light.
That protrudes
out into the night
The clouds crowd
The entire sky just
To see This
illustrious sight
Of the kaleidoscopic
Colors endearingly
Dancing within the mellow midnight .
As the sparrow
Continues its
harrowing flight.

Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


And thank you for your kind words

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

I offer this I saw your poem nice very nice


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Dear Edward, your poem is lovely. I like the little brown sparrow very much.
You've got some excellent inner rhymes which add musicality to your verses.
The theme is interesting, the title is fine and the spacing is also good. Bring on more, we need poets like you.
All the best, Gracy

"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thank you

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment
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