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boys across the haul

They stare senselessly never having said a word to me
Mouths wide open staring uncomfortably
They stare sometimes but not like this
Everytime i wear that shirt they think i don’t feel their eyes
Staring at my chest i grow in fear of something being wrong
Did i get my period do i look bad, its none of those
I wasn’t wearing anything revealing what are they
Thinking are they claiming me or objectifying me
do they really like me Or my body
i don’t show the real me how can they like me
Like that It worries me how fast i grew up in almost a year
growing up i just got more attractive for the boys
And a slut to the girls
I am already treated differently i don’t need boobs and
Ass to get in the way

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


I won't make any suggestions. I do like the title, though I wonder if it should be "hall," not "haul" or if that was intentional. As for the theme, I think one of the potential joys of writing is that you get to control the narrative. You can reclaim in the narrative what "they claiming me or objectifying me." So, as for theme, I would prefer more reclaiming. As example, here is a poem by one of my favorite authors, Lucille Clifton, called "homage to my hips."

haul was intentional but you interpret how you see it. I am not exactly confident enough to stand up for myself yet my poem is about being scared and confused, i wish i could reclaim and be confident but i am still learning how to deal with these things.

author comment

Hello, your poem touches me right to the heart. I know how it feels to be objectified and you've said it all in your powerful lines. I hope you can feel more confident in the near future. If you are writing about yourself, which I'm sure you are.
The theme is poignant, up to date. Maybe I would change the spacing a little, but don't worry, it's just me. The title is perfect.
All the best, Gracy

"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

Thank you, Gracy your words make me glad to have such an accepting community of writers. It is so darling to see i can make people feel how other artist make me feel. sincerely Emma

author comment

you seem to personify yourself
in magnifying your body
it must be viewable to many
so stand in your own heavenly vision
Texan boys will also be
always like other boys
let them enjoy
a glance a vision
stay composed
you have the ingredients of a NEO poet
great one to be
one day
some day
if not today
well done may I say
you don't know me yet

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