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The boy with the face made out of gold

His face was made from gold flakes and stained glass
He says the words of sweet symphony’s in my ear at my worst
He shows the sides of an adolescent with a heart made out of sapphire

As we grow, we begin to understand the ways of this plummeting planet
We go through it step by step together, we grow with passion and pure intentions
As we grow together, we know what it’s like to be hurt by the world, we pick eachother up

With each heavy brick we paste each other back together, But it’s different now
One of us wears our heart on our sleave giving nothing but innocence and love to everyone they see, while the other turned cold and puts on the mask they use to savor themselves

They find love with in them and they tell the planet they deserve it, one wears there love on their sleave and gives every part of there every being to this face made out of gold and stained glass, while the boy made out of gold turns their head to the girl of his past

He tries to give her his best, but the bricks were not yet dried enough to deal with the weight, so he turns away, breaking the girl slowly with nothing but good intentions they love, and their love is what eachother needs but not what they can bare , the boy with the gold face and the girl of his past.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Nice piece you got there. I like the imagery, "Heart made of sapphire"

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His face was made from gold flakes and stainTed glass
says the words of sweet symphony’s
in my ear at my XXXX(worst)xxxx
shows the sides of an adolescent
are you also?????

may c YOUNG new comer ye b


flddjflsdf gold flakes and stained glass, heavy bricks not yet dried enough to carry the weight of the world... just lovely ideas and imagery you've got here.

As far as constructive critiques go, it would probably benefit from a reread through it to fix some spelling and grammatical errors, and you may want to consider breaking the lines (on your last three paragraphs) up a bit as well so they flow in a more poetic fashion.

Your imagery is spot on, and I love the story you tell here! Looking forward to seeing more of your work!

"The true alchemists do not turn lead into gold; they turn the world into words." -William H. Gass

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