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The Boundless Sea

Submitted by Mark on Sun, 2021-01-31 19:16

I wish to know if my spirit could be bound
Like the seemingly endless sea we found
Nobody recalls the beginning of one’s life
Stormy times we go through, amounts of strife

I wish I could tack from New England to Old
See all the glorious stories I had been told
Yet I can only see but the sweep of a gull
Above our boat and off the beat up hull

I wish I knew the meaning of you
Endless sea of greenish blue
Where storms, then calm, bring satisfaction
Where there really is no thought - planned action

I wish to know if my spirt could be bound
Or if forever in you my soul be found

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft
Contest: 
Out At Sea
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

lovedly

Sun, 2021-01-31 20:25

lovedly's picture

no one can remember
from years 0 to three
then one can remember
the first breakfast
and
Ian could hear the dull/drone of the then aircraft's
he had said

Ray Whitaker

Sun, 2021-01-31 22:15

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Hope you have entered this one in the January contest!

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Mark

Sun, 2021-01-31 23:46

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I got it entered by a few hours :~)
Thanks and later,
Mark

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

Mark

Mon, 2021-02-01 04:25

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A direction a boat travels in relation to the wind.
Ya don't hear that word often, Teddy, unless you sail. Tacking is a way of managing a sailboat so that it can move upwind or against the wind. When you see a sailboat turn into the wind it is tacking. The wind is blowing into the other side of the sails.
Mark

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

Mark

Mon, 2021-02-01 05:49

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[smiles]

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

Rula

Mon, 2021-02-01 11:50

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Long time no seen... Hope all is good.
A lovely comparison you've weaved here between the soul and the sea, but [endless], I wished you've chosen a different word (imo) as there is less logic in comparing a bound spirit and an endless sea, or perhaps I am missing sth here?
I really thought that the second stanza and the last two lines are breath-taking

Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Mark

Mon, 2021-02-01 17:30

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I used a phrase actually. seemingly endless implies maybe not, maybe so (who knows).
Thanks for your opinion,
Mark

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

Rula

Tue, 2021-02-02 04:59

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for 5he clarification Mark

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

c lynn brooks

Mon, 2021-02-01 17:31

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In my humble opinion this is your finest work yet
it is so very beautiful I have images of the sea why could it be that it rolls along like undulating waves

Chrys

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Mark

Mon, 2021-02-01 20:01

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Thank you Chrys,
Mark

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

lovedly

Tue, 2021-02-02 12:23

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u ignored me
sad more than sorry

Lavender

Tue, 2021-02-02 17:45

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Hi, Mark,
I agree - this is some of your best work! I felt the longing throughout the entire poem, but your final two lines really acknowledge the boundless sea. Great title.
Thank you!
L

Asche Keegan

Thu, 2021-02-04 01:23

Asche Keegan's picture

Congrats on the win!

..................................................
https://meanderingbackward.blogspot.com
"The true alchemists do not turn lead into gold; they turn the world into words." -William H. Gass

Lavender

Thu, 2021-02-04 08:18

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Congratulations!
L

Mark

Thu, 2021-02-04 14:35

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I'm not ignoring anyone. Just having a difficult time. Keeping a bottle of Nitro nearby and going through lots of periods when I struggle to breathe. Watch out if any doctor offers you medicine, research it. If you smoke then quit, I did but perhaps too late. Well, I thank you all deeply and learned that no matter how messed up our health can get, we do not lose our skills and can continue to write good poetry.
Thank You
Joy and Peace,
Mark

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

Lavender

Thu, 2021-02-04 15:34

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Take good care!
L

Rula

Thu, 2021-02-04 14:47

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well merited indeed
Stay safe and take care.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

lovedly

Thu, 2021-02-04 16:47

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All know you are so sincere

Michael Anthony

Fri, 2021-02-05 19:59

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Congrats Mark! Well done!

Best

Michael Anthony

Ray Whitaker

Sat, 2021-02-06 23:28

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A very nice piece!

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scribbler

Mon, 2021-02-08 12:25

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Excellent....'nuff said

Gracy

Sat, 2021-02-20 21:23

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Lovely poetry and form, Mark. Congrats on winning. Very sorry to know that you're having health issues. I only smoked a little ages ago and gave it up easily. I wish you all the best. Take lots of care, God bless, Gracy

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