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Blood & Guts #1

The way you’re stuck inside my chest
 is best
Twisting my guts to coils just beneath my flesh

If you look close you can see it ripple

The muscles moving, mangling my middle

Manufacturing something like a slow and painful death

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 


Firstly a great welcome to Neopoet, I hope your stay here will be a good one.
There are many things for you here, mostly in the workshops that are on going.
The stream is our outlet, for poems that you need to have some feedback on.
Anyway as to your Gut wrenching piece I will assume that Gee will be pleased to have Killer come over and sort out the bits you don't want??
This one needs a little more, unless we have to think of it as someone hurting you so bad. Shit Happens and we carry on lol.
Take care and I look forward to your future writes, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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