Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Blending The Scent That Lingers On

Let’s start with a long lasting base note
Romantic rose would be nice
A few drops of cinnamon would add a little spice.

Blend until completely satisfied
May I politely suggest
Add a lively hint of orange for a tangy zest.

Try a touch of bouncy lemongrass
Or vivacious sunny lime
And balance with the goodness of lavender or thyme.

Mix two point five ounces of vodka
And be sure to get this right
If you get it wrong you’ll spoil the balance overnight.

Skilfully shake it all altogether
Agitate but do not stir
Then patiently wait for it to settle and mature.

Dilute with two spoons of spring water
Refine it through a filter
Purify and perfect then bottle the aroma.

It is important to remember
That when all the tones shine through
Every drop will linger a memory of you.

You have concocted your own perfume
Please don’t keep it locked away
Share it with a happy smile and use it everyday.

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hi Mand, I like this poem and I decided to follow its scent.

My fav stanza is this:

"Skilfully shake it all altogether
Agitate but do not stir
Then patiently wait for it to settle and mature"

I also would keep the alternate ending as part of the poem...

For me using the words *lingers on* would work extremely well... but then you'd have to rhyme it.

And now this poem reminds me of many of my loved ones who have passed on... My daughter always smells lilacs when her grandmother is near (she passed away in '85).

Hugs of love,
Anna

p.s. Almost forgot your request for help with title.... I think *blending the scent that lingers on* might work...?

Thanks Anna, Thank you for your suggestion, I have adjusted and hope it fits - what do you think?

I love your suggestion for the title, I will change it straight away.

I'm so glad your back!

I'll see if I can incorporate "lingers on" I think it fits in nicely.

Thanks Anna I appreciate the help and your reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

How about "Every drop will linger a memory of you"?

Not quite there but almost!

LOve Mand xxxxxxxxx

author comment

I love this site! Your all so wonderful. I love your suggestion for a title too! now I don't know what to do - I'm a poet and didn't know it.

I'll stay with Anna's suggestion - I like the idea of it lingering on - but I really appreciate your help Shirl.

I hope your o.k

Great ot see and hear from you. I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

author comment

I really struggled with the end of this one! I had difficulty getting across what I wanted to say - still not sure it's hit the target.

Funny how a poem can start off with one idea and develop into another. LOL

Bottoms up!!! ah ah ah opps must be drunk! I mean ha ha ha. HIc Hic!

Thanks for your lovely comments Xena

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

author comment

And honoured. Thank you Xena!

LOve to you

Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

author comment

one right up ! Just one one little tiny suggestion? Instead of : " If you get this wrong, you'll spoil the balance overnight". how about trying: Check it once again, let it set for overnight. ? Just a suggestion. I really enjoyed the use of anology. You did a fine job! ~ Gee

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Hope You're o.k Thanks for reading, commenting and for your suggestion - without one such as yourself were would we be.

I think this poem needs a bit of working on because I haven't accomplished what I want to accomplish.

It's about home made perfume but it is also about life and how we create a memory of who we are!
Perhaps I have bitten off more than I can chew - Think I'll just keep tinkering.

Thanks once again my friend.

Love Mand xxxxxx

author comment

Oh I love this Mand I sense the perfume in the air
around me
as I read, and know that even BOND
will swoon at your concoction,
ingeniously made.

Perhaps it might do what I expected
my first drink of Vodka would do,
literally knock me over backwards,
but it was sadly a disappointment,
I stood firm,
and
it didn't taste of a damned thing!!!!

Experience! Love to you Mand and glad you scent this!

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Sean Connery, I hope.LOL

I like drinking vodka and gin - they don't seem to have the same effect on me as wine!
My husband is ill if he drinks vodka - unfortunatley have to drink it all myself.Lol

Thanks for commenting Ann, great to hear from you.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

Mand,

I really liked this one.

Reminded me of Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins.

Victor

"When a pickpocket meets a holy man all he sees are his pockets."

Unknown (at least to me)

Haven't heard of Tom Robbins. I'll look him up!! Glad you liked it though Victor.

Thanks for reading and commenting!!

Love Mand xxxxxx

author comment

Scent is a big deal to me, as it can set the tone of the event. What a great idea to create one's own scent! Very creative and original. I love it!

love, cat

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Creating your own perfume to your own taste!! Good fun experimenting.

Thanks for reading and commenting Cat! Hope your getting better!!!.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

author comment

There's a really neat movie that Barry and I watched a few weeks ago. The Mistress of Spices.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407998/usercomments

I think you might like it.

~A

Thanks for the recommendation! we've booked a hire copy from the internet - I'll let you know what we think of it.

Great to hear from you.

Lots of love

Mand xxxxxxxx

author comment

A beautiful blend.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Hope your o.k !!

Good to hear from you. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

author comment

Hope your o.k !!

Good to hear from you. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

author comment

Just knowing your around is wonderful!!

It's cold here in Wales. Brrr - the opposite in Aussy I should think.

I've woken up to a beautiful orange/pink tinted cloudy sky and the ground is covered in glittering white frost - beautiful.

Thanks for reading and commenting Seren.

Lots of love, kisses and hugs

Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

author comment

My heart is all a stir lol. very nice poem :)

You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down

Thanks Hobo!

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

What a wonderful concept! I love the 3rd stanza, but all of it is just great. I will have to drink in this poem a few more times!

peace!
Lori

Ha ha! Great to hear from you.

Glad you liked the poem, Iike the 3rd stanza to.

Hey thanks for reading and commenting!!!

Lots of love Mand xxxxxxxxx

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.