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Bladder stones.

Aching bones n bladder stones
are signs of gettin old,
missing teeth n droopin beef
two more - or so I'm told.

Hairy backs n saggy sacks
are afflictions of old men,
havin rants n pissin pants
happen - now n then !

When the gut is sagging more n more
nearly dragging on the floor,
when bollocks are banging on the knees
and armpits smell like cheese,

When teeth they sleep within a glass
upon the bedside table,
and as for giving girls a thrill
you find you're - quite unable,

But don't think that I’m unhappy
after everything I've said,
e'en though I wear a grown up nappy
and soon be - fuckin dead.

Obi.

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

as for giving girls a thrill
you find you're -
quite '''TOTALLY'' unable

simply say
half past six~~~~ no quick fix
lol poet
THE WHOLE world knows it
u too do
nice fun poem sans all eh
AGE is qs?????

YAY!! thanks for your take Lovely.
Cheers,

Obi.

author comment

..a witty ditty....got no criti ....other than you forgot about the snotty twats. No worries, I'm sure you'll make up for it soon enough!

Thomas

....so like my lost dreams...the flood

said it better myself!
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
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Great last line. I didn't know the naughty F word was OK here - but now I know.

we tend to look upon that kind of thing as; meh... Just watch out for writing something that offends people's religion, sex,
[politics are alright as long as it doesn't devolve into a brawl] or being entirely unconcerned with a person's family and emotional well-being. We tend to look at ourselves as a family and look out for one and other. If you are unsure of what constitutes a violation, this is what should guide you.

[Critique is an important feature of Neopoet. Neopoet will not tolerate comments regarding a member’s race, sex, sexual preference, religion, disability or any type of personal derogatory comment aimed at a member. Personal attacks will be dealt with harshly by the AEC. This can be through suspensions or in the event of a serious attack, a permanent ban can be imposed. If you are in receipt of any level of personal attack, you should contact the AC immediately].

~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
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You can't criticise religion? That seems to be a bit repressive. I personally think ALL religions are evil and soul-destroying.

yea,,bleed me a goat
that's slit by the throat
then pray to Buddha
Vishnu or Zeus;

or some otherly god
and obstreperous sod
but for fucksake,
make them obtuse !

go kill a nation,
ethnic annihilation,
make room for more
bastards to breed;

in the name of Jehovah,
make wankers move over
they're the wrong
fuckin colour n creed,

strap a bomb to ya balls
allahu akbar the calls

seven seven,,,,,,,nine eleven,,,,,,,,,,man falls.

Obi.

author comment

criticizing religion. Criticism is usually OK but attacking or ridiculing is likely not gonna fly

Oh dear, methinks we best leave this discussion on "attacking, ridiculing, or other", religion and "what is permitted" right here!
Well, at least until the next time it gets up my nose !!

Obi.

author comment

looking for problems when none now exist

Well you missed achy joints in describing old age lol. Enjoyed this tongue in cheek read

First,
we fashioned our
Gods of stone,
and then from a
sacred wood,

We even tried out
flesh n bone,
but it wasn't -
quite as good.

We lauded him as
"SON OF BOSS"
then promptly nailed
him - to the cross.

So,
Can I borrow
your latest God?
as this one is
one hell of an -
awkward sod!....

author comment

If religious people's faith can't take a legpull or a joke, it's not worth much.

the occasional "leg-pull" or joke, that is objected to. It is the ridicule or out-right objectification of someone's religion, that is not allowed! The making a mean-spirited and comment or statement, is the objectionable thing. ~ Geez. For a good idea of the the kind of thing that is allowable, read my work: "Goddamn" -2002-02-02 or "Where are Those Mormons When you need Them?" 2021-06-08 ~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
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I fail to see how criticising religion is in any way "mean spirited" or "objectionable". I assume that also means you object to any negative comments about voodoo, wicca, or the multitheism of the Greeks or Romans. It's not only Christianity which should be criticised, it's the whole shooting match., And of course it's obviously OK to attack the Mormons. Oh yes, And I have no idea what you mean about "objectification". Do you actually know what that word means? It means reducing a person to any object. Religion is NOT a person. It IS an object. And an objectionable one, in my opinion

If it's forbidden to criticise religion, how about political beliefs?

This all smacks of petty censorship based upon bigotry and I find it highly objectionable. You know how to make new members feel welcome.

Not.

I should have said: "The personalization of criticism, is not allowed, Whether it be politics, religion or sexual preference.
~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
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I would agree that one should not issue personal insults and I don't, nor ever will. There are however many other subjects about which personal insults can be made, eg nationality, race, weight, intelligence level, education, physical appearances, moral viewpoint etc etc. If I see any of these please let me know how I complain about/report them.
wbw.
Lamington

"moral view point", is as falsifiable and open to question as religion, and, is often driven by a given doctrine, you can be assured that if I disagree with your moral view point I will be having a pop at it.

Obi.

author comment

As long as it doesn't turn into a personal attack, I will be happy to engage in verbal-sparring anytime! I also hold some rather un-orthodox views on religion, politics, and moral view-points. ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

such a nature are referred to the AC. which can be found in the Resources or Help Menus. You will find the A.C. Actions menu which deals with all manner of offenses, and is subservient to only the trustees of the site. ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

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