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bikini body

i've seen two boys staring at my chest,
and one teacher basically calling me out for wearing a tank top.
I was so excited to wear this shirt and all I get is objectification. Why do I do this,
to give myself gratification from the eyes of the prepubescent
or to show how i do have a body under the insecurity.
In the light when my eyes bleed from starvation
nothing is more important to me than my bikini body.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
i was going to name this poem bikini bossy do you like body or bossy better?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

i totally agree with you i felt bossy was a similar point however, it would be off topic to my thesis

author comment

Mark is right, Bikini Body is the right title for this! I understand the subject and hope that you will enlarge on it in a more structured poem. You have the right idea! ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

this is just a rough draft maybe i will enlarge it

author comment

break tyour words into stanzas . I will be back to read. I do like the title Bikini body better

Chrys

check out our chat room open to all 24/7

done :)

author comment

suggestion: respond to those who are kind enough to read your poetry and leave comments. it is the polite thing to do. I am looking forward to reading more from you!

always, Cat

I see that not only have you responded, you have revised your poem- very nice...a good read!

always, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Body is the better of the two, I think your poem helps people realize what those "perfect body" people go through. I know I'm not happy with My bikini body lol

I'm definitely not a "perfect body" at all. the" starving eyes "
are from anorexia what people don't see
but that isn't the central idea
of my poem it would be off topic
to go into detail

author comment

prepubescent as you say
a guy posted this word
prepubescent+sachh==you know what
he used mango yellow juice to wash
and many did he attract

so each one for one's self
enjoy god gifted '''bosses'''
as you say vs body like
both you may
all guys will always have something to say
just say nay
politely tho

don't give up anyway
hurray
on this site to show
there is no way

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