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bikini body

i've seen two boys staring at my chest,
and one teacher basically calling me out for wearing a tank top.
I was so excited to wear this shirt and all I get is objectification. Why do I do this,
to give myself gratification from the eyes of the prepubescent
or to show how i do have a body under the insecurity.
In the light when my eyes bleed from starvation
nothing is more important to me than my bikini body.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
i was going to name this poem bikini bossy do you like body or bossy better?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I like Body better because it fits the writing. Bossy really would not.
Later,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

i totally agree with you i felt bossy was a similar point however, it would be off topic to my thesis

author comment

Mark is right, Bikini Body is the right title for this! I understand the subject and hope that you will enlarge on it in a more structured poem. You have the right idea! ~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
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this is just a rough draft maybe i will enlarge it

author comment

break tyour words into stanzas . I will be back to read. I do like the title Bikini body better

Chrys

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done :)

author comment

suggestion: respond to those who are kind enough to read your poetry and leave comments. it is the polite thing to do. I am looking forward to reading more from you!

always, Cat

I see that not only have you responded, you have revised your poem- very nice...a good read!

always, Cat

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Body is the better of the two, I think your poem helps people realize what those "perfect body" people go through. I know I'm not happy with My bikini body lol

I'm definitely not a "perfect body" at all. the" starving eyes "
are from anorexia what people don't see
but that isn't the central idea
of my poem it would be off topic
to go into detail

author comment

prepubescent as you say
a guy posted this word
prepubescent+sachh==you know what
he used mango yellow juice to wash
and many did he attract

so each one for one's self
enjoy god gifted '''bosses'''
as you say vs body like
both you may
all guys will always have something to say
just say nay
politely tho

don't give up anyway
hurray
on this site to show
there is no way

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