Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Beyond Words! (rewrite)

I need my words
to comfort you
with a spoken loving voice.
I can hold you
in these mortal arms,
but they do not
speak for me.

I can dry your tears
with my handkerchief,
but it tells you
only that I care.

I need words like:
concern
appreciate
cherish
affection
devotion
and adoration.

I need to tell you
that I will be there,
always for you
and then follow through.

where would I be
without my words?

*rewrite with Teddy's help ;) and Stan/Scribbler, too!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
*thank you Teddy, for your help and quick eye!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

these verses express that your love for Steve are beyond words to describe ..such is that place you hold for your soulmate...may be "beyond words" could be a title...

pardon me if you didn't like the encore to run i posted yesterday..if so i will unpublish it..

be well..

raj (sublime_ocean)

you could never do anything to upset me...why would you think that? do not unpublish!

*warmest hugs, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Thanks for your words Cat but I have already unpublished it, realizing that you would not like to see the end of Eddie Styx...

regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

words indeed, you have demonstrated the power of words so wonderfully, this is so original. i like your last question, some people cannot get the words out this is true but you are definately not one of those people.

Thank you...Teddy

I should have marked this one "rough draft" I'm not satisfied with it :) maybe you can give me some suggestions? thank you for your kindness.

love ya, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I just repaired a tiny bit the start of this poem, see if you like it and agree, teacher becomes the student! lol love to you my dearest.

I need my words
to comfort you
with a spoken loving voice .
I can hold you
in these mortal arms,
but they do not
speak for me.
I can dry your tears
with my handkerchief,
but it tells you
only that I care.
I need words like:
concern
appreciate
cherish
affection
devotion
and adoration.
I need to tell you
that I will be there,
always for you
and then follow through.
where would I be
without my words?

thats how i see this. xoxox

Thank you...Teddy

I very much agree with you! thank you for the needed help! I will have to fix it tomorrow as I'm almost out of gas (or do you call it petrol?)

*love ya, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Here we would call it petrol as gas comes from a different part of the anatomy lol but here we also call it benzina that's quite cool. hey sleep well my friend, I hope that your pain is easing and you can sleep better.

Thank you...Teddy

Ahhhh Cat. Just this poem let me enjoy the great pleasure of reading you again. Might go have a peek at a few more when i wake up. Its 4am I never sleep anymore. It sucks. But eh ? Nothing we can do. Bear it. Just posted another new poem will be back when I wake up to read for a few hours and read some of the new people I dont know and introduce myself.

You have only gotten better Darlin'.

Biggest hugs.
J xxxxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

where have ya been? I was MIA for a couple of years, lol! I'm an insomniac too. my dr. gave me a sleeping pill to help. it is called ambien, and the side effects are minimal. I don't wake up grouchy or dizzy or unrested. ask your doc about it, maybe? thanks for your comments :)

*hugs, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

This write is just filled with sadness. It reminds me of the saying that actions speak louder than words.

Much love,
Jess

I was just thinking about you! how are you doing? So nice to see you!!!

love, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Dear Cat, what beautiful thoughts in your poem. I can only read and admire. You have a kind heart.
I'm off for my shower and Tai Chi, I find both very relaxing and good for my Fibromyalgia. I used to take lessons, but now I know the movements by heart. I add some of my own.
A pleasure to read you, keep safe, Gracy

*
*
*
"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

I'm so glad that you have something that helps you with the fibro. I have some, too, but I have to be careful with my psoriatic arthritis. I also use self-hipnosis and meditation. thank you for reading and your lovely comments!

*hugs, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I can only echo Gracy's word. Your words express beautiful thoughts coming from a generous heart. Take care, dear Cat. Jerry

>
>
>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

thank you so very much for your kindness! and for your posting of poems. I love them so!

*hugs, your friend, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

concern
appreciate
cherish
affection
devotion
and adoration
love generosity admiration.++++++++++++++add on
but the only thing that will adore youmost is
thesaurus
My Dear Cat

thank you! you are loved!

*hugs, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

sounds good...

raj (sublime_ocean)

:)
*hugs, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

this is such a beautiful edit, sounds as it should now just one last question

with a spoken loving voice, there are two full stops, do you see? just a typo i am sure, i need my reading glasses now!

Thank you...Teddy

I'm crap at spelling and punctuation ;) lol.

*hugs, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Yes words are needed to convey these strong emotions. For some reason while reading I kept expecting some stanza breaks. Indeed they might give readers a pause here and there to soak up this poem a piece at a time. Just for giggles I'll copy and paste with the breaks to show you what I mean :

I need my words
to comfort you
with a spoken loving. voice.
I can hold you
in these mortal arms,
but they do not
speak for me.

I can dry your tears
with my handkerchief,
but it tells you
only that I care.

I need words like:
concern
appreciate
cherish
affection
devotion
and adoration.

I need to tell you
that I will be there,
always for you
and then follow through.

where would I be
without my words?

you have improved it "beyond words" I hope you are well!

*hugs, Cat
-

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.