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Beyond The Rain

Where have all the raindrops gone
Spilling from on high?
Which once would fall about my head
But now my head is dry.
Where have all the snowflakes gone
Ambling down from space?
Shivering in the winter wild
And melting on my face.

Where have all the rivers gone
Dashing to and fro?
They once would splash across the land
As seaward they would go.
Where have all the oceans gone
To crash against the shore?
All that's left is salted sand
Upon a seabed floor.

Where have all the rainbows gone?
They lighted up the sky.
They once would bow and bend and reach
So far could see the eye.
Where have all the sundrops gone
To energise the rain?
Absent now, without a trace,
And never seen again.

And where have all my brothers gone?
Each walked the earth with me;
O'er moor and mountain, day by day,
From clifftop to the sea.
And where have all my sisters gone,
And all the loves I've known?
Disapeared, just like the rain,
So now I'm left alone.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

How sadly beautiful this is. Sometimes we lack appreciation for the simple things in life, like water. Losing friends family loved ones has a very deep profound sadness at any age, I often look around me and think, where did they all go.
I have played with your rainbow stanza as it was the only one I felt could read a bit clearer so here it is Sir.

Where have all the rainbows gone?
That lit up sad grey sky.
They once would bow and bend and reach
As far could see the eye

Of course pass it by if it doesn't work. Another musical instalment from one of my favourite poets.

Thank you...Teddy

Your ideas are always welcome. I needed to use a 2 syllable word as second word of this line. I chose 'lighted' as it is a word which in not frequently used and also it is more potent than 'lit', suggesting (in my mind) it may be lighted like a fire ~ a rainbow is a powerful thing (and one of the wonders of the world).

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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

I will just stop breaking balls I guess. It's really very beautiful. Thanks for yet again teaching me!

Thank you...Teddy

as a metaphor for the health and kindness that once was a part of this world; where indeed? I felt as though you asked us to recognise that we must have "the rain" so that our flower of humanity can grow; for there is a drought upon the land. Good work, ~ Geez.

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you see the right things. The world will now change forever, before our very eyes.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

Hi Alan, this is beautiful and so very sad. What has humankind done to this extraordinary planet...I know a lot of the destruction is part of natural cycles, but collectively, we've mismanaged everything. We used to see three rainbows out on the Pampas, an extraordinarily brilliant sight.
I like your title, content, spacing and all else, no nits. Will return to read again and capture the essence of your thoughts. Best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

though I am very pleased that you liked 'Beyond the Rain'.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment
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