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Beware!

Don't ask a lady 'bout her age;
bestir griefs, invoke her sorrows,
arouse a sleeping beast to rage,
don't ask a lady 'bout her age.
You'd let the daemons out of the cage
to blow her now and tomorrows,
don't ask a lady 'bout her age;
bestir griefs, invoke the sorrows.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is an evocative subject - Indeed many women don't like to reveal their age! I had to look up daemons - at first I thought it was a spelling mistake for demons, but upon looking it up I discovered that the Daemons are malevolent spirits born out of the destructive power called Chaos - an appropriate comparison given the reaction of many women being asked their age. Some things are best kept a secret!

Is this a triolet? Looks similar.

Very well done -

Mand xxx

so happy to see you here.
It is a triolet. I got the first line playing in my head and thought the format of the triolet might work well.
I am happy you've confirmed it did . I admit some exaggeration is intended though. At least I'm not one of them.
Many thanks for sharing your thoughts dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I was about to show
my ignorance

'bout her age;

you camouflage well
by an apostrophe
well done Rula

dear Lovedly for the comment. I always appreciate your kind visit.
Be well.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

so I have to be
a candle
showing kindly light to thee
have no mercy for me

I very much enjoyed this poem and know how hard they can be to achieve smoothly, which you have done. One slight nit I think both places you have grieves it should read griefs. Also if I dare go slightly farther, I think the fifth line has no fault as it is but maybe smoother as; You'd let the daemons out the cage. Just my opinion.
PS: I'll give you equal opportunity to comment tomorrow when I post an effort of my own. Can't today because I posted something early on before I noticed this challenge.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

and many thanks for the kind encouraging words.
'Griefs' it IS of course. I wasn't happy with that line too.

Looking forward to reading your attempt soon.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

we all live in a fools paradise
and all are in search of fools

I can't believe you can be enraged...so just to check it out I dare and ask you what's your age...:)

humor apart, I suggest you enter this one in the May Contest which is about Triolets..

Now a query: I have never heard of the word bestir..what does it mean?

This surely is a tough form but I know you like to try out different forms...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Never offended! I'm always twenty five :)
You made me doubt the word and checked the dictionary;
bestir: to stir up, rouse to action

I started composing this for the contest when I noticed that its theme doesn't belong to any of the contest's.
Will try another soon if God is willing.

Thank you Mr. winner

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

liked the philosophy of "always twenty five" :)

thanks for the explanation about bestir..i didn't know about this word...

you are right about this poem not being in sync with the theme of the contest...it's good that you are in the practice mode...best wishes for the contest..I am sure you will post one in sync with the theme soon....

raj (sublime_ocean)

what a beautiful piece, I love the rhythm a tempo of it. The subject is for many as true as life.
Rula you out did yourself. The brevity of it makes it long lasting in the mind
Thanks for sharing this most excellent write. Bravo!

Eddie C.

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

How kind of you to offer this piece a visit and such a comment. I am happy to know that the theme appeals to you too.
Kind regards

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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