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Beneath a Harvest Moon (title workshop)

Brightness lights up the sky
there's a mystical magic
that fills the air,

even the orchestra of nature
has been silenced

except for the sound of a bullfrog,
echoing downstream

I lay on this blanket,
gazing up at your magnificent beauty

Alas, I cannot touch you
but you are here,
for all to see

Who would ever want to shade you?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Scribblers, title ( Beneath a harvest moon) I hope i did it justice?
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Not I, Teddy, not I.
I think that your own scribble has done Scribbler's title justice today as, clearly, does the bullfrog away's downstream.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

Why, thank you sir! I hope so!

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Changing the last line, to read: "I have harvested a memory" ? "Who would want to shade you?" seems like you are talking about the Sun, rather than the moon. ~ Geez.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

That has two meanings sorry I did not put it in the notes it's another way of saying. Who would want to speak badly of you! I like your idea though

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Many people don't realize that a full moon can actually cast a distinct shadow. Glad you see this and including a bullfrog is something I often do myself. Enjoyed your use of my title

Thanks for noticing! Yes I could have loved the grape title too but I chose this one and I'm glad I did. I didn't want to use the harvest inside the poem because I was hoping that the light would show it was a harvest moon all from the title!

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Now that is he poetry you are known for
a very tranquil dreamy poem
nicely done

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

I so get what you mean, I guess my personality shines through my reviews and my happy stuff. I just love to experiment all type writing but I definately think my heart belongs to the comedy and the positive. Thank you for taking the time to read both poems today.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Sorry. I don't have anything to suggest but lots of appreciation. This is so beautiful dear Teddy.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Thank you from the bottom of my heart dear friend.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment
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