Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Beneath a Harvest Moon (title workshop)

Brightness lights up the sky
there's a mystical magic
that fills the air,

even the orchestra of nature
has been silenced

except for the sound of a bullfrog,
echoing downstream

I lay on this blanket,
gazing up at your magnificent beauty

Alas, I cannot touch you
but you are here,
for all to see

Who would ever want to shade you?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Scribblers, title ( Beneath a harvest moon) I hope i did it justice?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Not I, Teddy, not I.
I think that your own scribble has done Scribbler's title justice today as, clearly, does the bullfrog away's downstream.

Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan

Why, thank you sir! I hope so!

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Changing the last line, to read: "I have harvested a memory" ? "Who would want to shade you?" seems like you are talking about the Sun, rather than the moon. ~ Geez.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

That has two meanings sorry I did not put it in the notes it's another way of saying. Who would want to speak badly of you! I like your idea though

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Many people don't realize that a full moon can actually cast a distinct shadow. Glad you see this and including a bullfrog is something I often do myself. Enjoyed your use of my title

Thanks for noticing! Yes I could have loved the grape title too but I chose this one and I'm glad I did. I didn't want to use the harvest inside the poem because I was hoping that the light would show it was a harvest moon all from the title!

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Now that is he poetry you are known for
a very tranquil dreamy poem
nicely done

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

I so get what you mean, I guess my personality shines through my reviews and my happy stuff. I just love to experiment all type writing but I definately think my heart belongs to the comedy and the positive. Thank you for taking the time to read both poems today.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment

Sorry. I don't have anything to suggest but lots of appreciation. This is so beautiful dear Teddy.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me

Thank you from the bottom of my heart dear friend.

Thank you...Teddy

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.