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Behold A Great Woman

Submitted by Mallory on Sat, 2018-05-26 07:35

Behold a great woman
The jewel, the joy
And the hope of the entire black race
Born with endless beauty of all time
Immense with multiple of untapped resources
You lead in the entire black soil called Africa
But never know your brother envy you a lot
Even your distance friends
Likewise your foes
Who disgust your outspoken strength and dominance at large?
They've set a goal against you
Waiting for this presume circumstance
You continue to surface -foster other people with your resources
And use your gallant strength to subdue the foreign rebels at hut
‘But do them give you kudos or respect you deserve?’
As you police continental
Out of unpatriotic and nepotism
Your own have join league to bring you down
Because of your ordeal you’re going true now
All your enemies have labelled you a weak woman
Who cannot gird her loins?
And protect his own
They continue to ridicule you far and beyond
Without apology proudly say: it is their right
And endless to say, you’re a weak woman
Posterity shall speak all your good deeds.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

chevyvent

Sat, 2018-05-26 12:42

chevyvent's picture

You´re very creative on a high level! Good to see this strenght! The live of someone who lives straight in his spezial fine art of writing! And art of living! And the art of survivie in the best way! With a live which never giives up! This are the people the world needs! The people which make the world goes on! Greetings

Mario Vitale

Jackweb

Sun, 2018-05-27 15:22

Jackweb's picture

I'm glad to hear you say so. I will never loose my strength in appreciating your observations.
Great thanks!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Mallory

Sun, 2018-05-27 15:28

Mallory's picture

Every great eyes sees the natural beauty of great art of writing. You really observed well.
Many thanks!

Ibe Frederick

author comment

raj

Mon, 2018-05-28 05:02

If I may..i would like to make a couple of suggestions

1. add a few notes in the space "last few words" to bring clarity about what / who inspired you, eg. is it about the teenager in Sudan who is being sentenced with death penalty for killing her husband to whom she was married without her consent at age 17

2. Identify / jot down what you find outstanding about her and then shorten your poem so that it doesn't get diluted.
......................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Mallory

Sun, 2018-05-27 22:56

Mallory's picture

Poem was written and submitted by: Mallory(Ibe Fredrick).

Jack is my younger brother. He helps me do the posting.
Thanks for your observation.

Ibe Frederick

author comment

raj

Mon, 2018-05-28 05:01

Sorry for my error...I stand corrected.
........................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Mallory

Mon, 2018-05-28 10:18

Mallory's picture

You're welcome Sir. But i'm yet to see you unveil the poem critically.

Ibe Frederick

author comment

Jackweb

Mon, 2018-05-28 10:28

Jackweb's picture

Mallory, it seems to me- you felt the surge of poetic powers and you release the strength of your craft in the lines, with such a heavy personifications and outstanding metaphors that gives flavor to the theme of the poem. Such a talented grace found in you! Your words found roots to standout for reality.
Great to be poet!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

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