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Beautiful Spirit

Submitted by lou on Sun, 2010-10-31 17:53

You inspired from the start,
cradled me in the wealth of your knowledge.
Nursed this fledgling through it's poetic birth

A beautiful spirit that burns and sparks,
a vessel for all that is dark and exquisite,
and righteous.

Now you have been laid
and it is I who must support you.
Give you hope, enouragenent

I will ease your burden.
Erase your suffering,
allow you to be strong..

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Comments

lou

Sun, 2010-10-31 23:37

lou's picture

Hi it's nice to hear from you again. I feel the poem's a little sloppy and over the top, but the words are heart felt.

Thank you.

Love Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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judyanne

Mon, 2010-11-01 01:23

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(and i actualy don't think it is really - it needs a tidy up in parts, but one can see it comes from the heart)

just the last line spoils it a little
i think you need something stronger - sorry, no suggestions because this is yours and yours alone

lovely sentiment lou
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

lou

Mon, 2010-11-01 02:37

lou's picture

It's a little of both , Lol but then that's me haha I'm glad you liked it.

Much love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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judyanne

Mon, 2010-11-01 02:38

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freudian slip?
sorry lou - never soppy

lol
judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Race_9togo

Mon, 2010-11-01 01:29

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Couldn't have said it better myself.

Jim

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

lou

Mon, 2010-11-01 02:38

lou's picture

Thanks

Lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

lou

Mon, 2010-11-01 08:00

lou's picture

Your too kind lol

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Nordic cloud

Wed, 2010-11-03 15:49

Nordic cloud's picture

The first two verses had me intrigued and I was
slightly saddened on the continuation as it could
have developed otherwise to contain 'more,' I am
not so sure what but there was something nice in
this that would be beautiful to follow.

"You inspired me from the start,
cradled me in the wealth of your knowledge.
Nursed me through my poetic birth

A beautiful spirit that burns and sparks,
a vessel for all that is dark and exquisite,
and righteous."

We want to know more about this person
and are disappointed when we don't.

I don't know but that's what I felt about it.
Love Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

lou

Wed, 2010-11-03 18:48

lou's picture

it's about a well Loved member of this site, cat.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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scribbler

Wed, 2010-11-03 23:01

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A very nice tribute to a kind mentor in my opinion. I think " me " may have been repeated too much in 1st stanza, but that may have been intentional..........scribbler

lou

Sun, 2010-11-14 05:38

lou's picture

It isn't for me to explain what inspired me to write, this poem for Cat. She explains it very well in her poems.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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