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BEAUTIFUL SOUL

Submitted by Jackweb on Tue, 2023-01-17 15:06

Your taintless heart
your embodiment of
blessed qualities
stimulate your resplendent
glow of attraction

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Tue, 2023-01-17 16:24

Awesome

Your taintless heart
your embodiment of
blessed qualities
stimulates your resplendent
glow of attraction

Change to stimulate. A quality stimulates. Qualities stimulate. A taintless heart stimulates but that’s the subject. Your embodiment of blessed qualities is an adverb clause of the verb stimulate as is your resplendent glow of attraction. English is weird with verbiage.

Excellent language usage otherwise,
Tim

Jackweb

Tue, 2023-01-17 17:23

Thanks

Very much for the eagle eye. Your suggestions are very good and accepted. Your tutoring is very impressive.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2023-01-17 19:17

Sounds like...

the girl for you! She glows like a beacon. Like a moth to the flame, get her number and name. Good, succinct, terse poetry, that gives the girl in question ten points! Good verse. ~ Geezer.
.

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Jackweb

Tue, 2023-01-17 20:21