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Beautiful Lady

O Beautiful lady with glory all over
I bow at your feet, which are covered with flowers

O Beautiful lady with six different faces
But with compassion as your grace

O Beautiful lady with a reason
But with the power of season

O Beautiful lady with love towards all beings
I pray you with all my bearings

O Beautiful lady with modesty as your ornament
But with greenery as your garment

O Beautiful lady who is as beautiful as a bride
And that beauty is your pride

O Beautiful lady whose lips are red
And doesn’t let her veil shed

O Beautiful lady built with five different elements
But doesn’t has the quality of ailments

O Beautiful lady with Earth as your empire
Which resides under a ball of fire

O Beautiful lady with land as your home
And sky as its dome

O Beautiful lady covered with green trees
And this is extended to unbounded seas

O Beautiful lady with air as your facade
And that souvenir cascades on life

O Beautiful lady with the power of frost
And has the quality of host

O Beautiful lady with ecstacy for rainfall
And this makes me yell with joy after all

O Beautiful lady with the essence of nurture
But with the thought for future

O Beautiful lady who has bondage with everyone
But you do not depend on anyone

O Beautiful lady like a goddess of dreams
Gifting never ending realms

O Beautiful lady like a blossom bloom
Which gleams to remove the gloom

O Beautiful lady with chastity as your norm
But motherliness as your form

O Beautiful lady with power of charisma
I love you with great reverence

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I am probably wrong, but this poem sounds like a tribute to Lady Nature. I think it is lovely. I have just one suggestion:

In this line: But doesn’t has the quality of ailments
(I think you should change the word has to have)

Welcome to Neo Poet!
always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
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Hello Candlewitch,

Ya that's very much true and thanks for the comments and the compliments

author comment

your language, rhythm, beginning/ending and internal logic are spot on. the problem i had was the repetitve first line of every S. i thought that line would have more emphasis if it was only used every other or every third S.
but still, not bad.
keep 'em coming!

nullus anxietas,
t_f

Thank you very much to all

thanks for a warm welcome as well from all the poets too

author comment

I will consider your observation and I appreciate it too
Frankly speaking never made an observation of such level

Thanks once again for your valuable comments

author comment

so I liked the repetition. Very medieval. I would have liked to see a more consistent meter throughout, but as I said I'm pretty old fashioned. The concept is marvelous. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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I want to put my thoughts in old fashioned way but write on the modern problems and situations
I always wanted to carry the Old ways to the modern society

Thanks for your appreciation

author comment

sphere
you are a great original kind of creator ,
of free verse,
but as some one has already said above
repetition perhaps makes it slightly worse
and
perhaps a curse
so you dear poet in your own mind read and rehearse
and avoid the repetition in each
''shlokas'' type verse.

Well that's only my suggestion ,
score it out at the worse

loved

we all are along a learning curve
all our lives
and
till the end....
there is no beginning ...no end ..
we move along with time

Do read some poetry
and
then vomit ...
the essence is there twill come ..

loved

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