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Be Your Poetry (Hiding in Metaphor) # 4

Submitted by Rula on Sun, 2015-09-27 14:32

Be the character
you want to be,
let your words
speak out loudly,
chant with rhythms
your melody
with rhyming verses
or of rhyme's free,

be yourself
be your poetry.

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

How was my language use?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How does this theme appeal to you?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

I hoped here the pun with the word "character" works to represent both "a written symbol" and "a characteristic property that defines the apparent individual nature"

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Workshop:

Hiding emotions in metaphors

Comments

raj

Sun, 2015-09-27 14:41

Posting again my comment

Posting again my comment since when I did it earlier, I got a rejoinder message "Access Denied"

hmmmm..trying to figure out the connection of the "Last Few Words" with the poem...i wished there was a better alternative softer word to "character" ...besides Character could also mean a role played of someone which is not representative of him/her playing it...just my perception and no more..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Rula

Sun, 2015-09-27 15:08

Thank you raj

I wanted the words "character" as a written symbol to work together with "words", "verses" and "poetry" to make up the thematic unity that I wanted.
I also wanted the word character to refer to one's identity. Does this now make any sense?

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