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Be The Star!

If you can't
fetch the stars
in your palm,
mimic the way
they cradle
the milky way
at night.

Emit light
in the darkest
times,

guide with
geniality
the lost souls,
and yet keep your
Identity
and pride.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

a wonderful message you have woven in these lines...did you mean geniality or gentility?
................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

gentility, but geniality works well here too.
Thank you dear raj for your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

i thought that way too but felt geniality has a softer feel hence made the suggestion
..............................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

like the word geniality as never used before.
It's always good to bring forth a fresher breath to poetry.
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Lovely short piece that say so much,
You have the stars in your life, it is sad that there are many that can't even see the stars inward or physically.

It was beautiful in Africa where we could see the milky way, I have a telescope here to look outward but local light pollution is too much.
Yet here inside I can hold the stars in my hand, and walk among their light.
I try to show as many as I can the beauty of the inner light.
I can walk with you in your deserts and among the Aspens of Stan's world and so many places it just needs a little thought.

Take care young lady and know we walk the same pathways,
Yours Ian .. x

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

You are so kind and your comment reflects that kindness.
I'm so grateful to have such company like yours to walk with me.
Thank you.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

instead of down home, how about in your palms? I suggest this because it may connect even better with cradle in the next line...just a thought..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

How lovely to think it this way. I absolutely like the idea. Will Implement it indeed.
Can't thank you enough for coming back with such fruitful thoughts.
Highly appreciate it.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Good to know Rula that you found the suggestion worthy of implementation. instead of "down to your palm do you think in your palm would work better and smoother? just tickling your mind on this..i think "in" goes well with "fetch" and "down" then becomes redundant...
.....................................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

as suggested raj and yes I believe it's smoother now.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

good to know Rula that you found the suggestion worthy...
......................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

are words two
any one anyway you could chose too
I am such a star
are you not looking from that far
geniality or gentility
but do so gently

What I thought.
Thank you lovedly. We are on the same page indeed.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment

Beautiful words, especially the first verse. Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

highly appreciate your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

author comment
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