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BARREN NIGHTS

Submitted by Geremia on Fri, 2012-06-22 19:06

BARREN NIGHTS

The night came upon me
barren
no nurturing light
no warmth in its darkness
stars veiled in black embrace
meaningless to its own existence.
mirrored reflection....

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

loved

Sat, 2012-06-23 02:06

loved's picture

'''stars veiled in black embrace.....
nice choice of words too

loved

Geremia

Sat, 2012-06-23 04:10

Geremia's picture

I am very happy you enjoyed this one.

author comment

Ian.T

Sat, 2012-06-23 03:48

Ian.T's picture
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I like this one as an intro to more, you have given us a glimpse of one part of being there and as Loved said the words chosen are good..
I just felt that there is more to this one, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Sat, 2012-06-23 04:13

Geremia's picture

Strike with words and images surreal and leave the reader stunned or dismayed, Pull out an emotion.

author comment

Nordic cloud

Sat, 2012-06-23 14:39

Nordic cloud's picture

Beautifully neat this now.
It makes a new stunning whole that I like a lot.

Anni :)

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Geremia

Sat, 2012-06-23 15:30

Geremia's picture

[wink]

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