Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

B o t t l e n e x

slender ruins
and bitter whisps
beneath the wind whipped

the pure folded heart
of magic
lays sleeping
as a heart

tender beat
to forgotten

Editing stage: 


This reminded me of the bits that some drug takers use to smoke with, if so a well developed vision of not only the effect, but the affected,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

there is a freedom given to the thinker the observer to watch and create
within and from without in a free flowing association..

with the more regimented form of work its all laid out
which there is nothing wrong...(Poetry or life)
and somehow I tend to be drawn to the free thinking...

I like your take on this Ian
from your comment to reading it again
it indeed falls within much of this
avenue of thought..

Bravo and thank you for the comment!

author comment

Left me with the vision of perhaps a lost soul, someone who had been forgotten about. This someone still has spark left in them but lays sleeping as no one seems to realize they exist. I really enjoy poetry that allows me to use my imagination and draw my conclusions from the visuals I get. Good job!!!

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

enjoying your writes..
I read poe and love king
Lovecraft was excellent too
as is others now in the modern genre

William Blake now fascinating me
from a very beautiful woman my age
intelligence and form

something of the lost values
in todays heady rush to just get
more more more

wear out long before their time..

I want mirages and dreams
I want scalpel minds
and surety hearts
Treasure Poets

Thank You!

author comment

That you are enjoying my writes. I have a chat on the second and third Saturday nights from 9 to 10pm East Coast time if you are ever interested in stopping by. I will have to check out Lovecraft as I am not familiar with his/her work. I agree with you about the lost values of today. There is a peace I find in writing, as well as doing it for fun. It allows me to touch on things that I have buried deep inside. Again, glad you are enjoying my writes and hope to hear more from you!!! All comments are appreciated.

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

my take on this one!

Slender ruins
and bitter wisps
beneath the wind whipped

The pure folded heart
of magic
lies sleeping
as a spell

tender beat
and forgotten

I changed the word [heart] to spell, to avoid the repetition of heart
also removed the letter [ h] in whisp. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.