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In Awe

The pallid moon rises,
murmuring among the reeds,
skipping on the water,
like a million silver beads.

A solitary loon calls
haunting the starry bright sky,
saturating the air
with the sound of its ghostly cry.

Soft wings glide no hurry,
across the vast inland seas,
sailing on a whisper,
lifted by the sent of a breeze.

A thunderstorm echoes,
shimmering jagged edged light,
flooding the horizon
while wolves howl to the night.

A fireball ascends,
turning the black waters gold,
cascading a rainbow,
just as the day lilies unfold.

River fish swim, no haste,
the placid fresh water bream,
hiding in the weedy fronds,
before making their way up stream.

The hawk sings a soul song,
in tranquil resonance,
riding on the thermals,
while man stands still...in silence.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Beautifully written and a quiet read
that flowed from the evenings light
into the night then on to the dawn.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Glad you like it - I've made a few changes, I hope I haven't spoilt it. I'm always glad of yours and others opinions and I'm grateful you take the time to read, advise and comment.

Great to hear from you.

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

I like this a lot. A few ideas :stanza 2 line 1 try myriad insread of zillions; stanza 2 line 4 I wonder if red eyed is needed. The first stanza is outstanding and the last one is eloquent in showing man apart from nature..........stan

STAN! Glad you like it! I'm made some changes - it it o.k now? Looking forward to hearing your opinion.

Love Mand xxxxxx

author comment

I figured you could revise better than I could............stan

you could let the moon
still remain solid rather than become liquid

and scent
the sent breeze
up here winds are cold
they make all sneeze

loved

Glad to have you come by - I heard what you were saying. I hope the changes make it better.

Thank you sooo much for your help.

( I'll try and visit you soon ).

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

u r welcome

loved

A grand descriptive piece. I always adored Stan's way of describing nature, now I see he is having A new competitor and we are for sure the winners at the end.
Thanks for sharing.

I shall re-read (((in awe)))

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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You have just given me a lovely compliment! Stan is "The man" when it comes to writing about nature!

Thanks Rula - I feel deeply encouraged.

Love and hugs

Mand xxxxxx

author comment
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