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Autumn (Update)

It is a misty sort of day
with a light gray fog
draping over the pines.
The dampened earth
is full of the flavor
of autumn.

Colors are peaked
leaves have dropped
the earth's perfume
is strong and sweet
as it devours what is
left of summer.

It is always a glorious
wonder to me
how such delicious
beauty is born
from the death
of so many things.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I just dropped by and decided to add an old poem I wrote and loved several years ago. Hopefully, I will be back on Neopoet soon. Best to all.
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is a breath of fresh air in a place where a lot of heavy subjects have been topic lately.
I do appreciate this very much.
The harvest here in NE has not been so good this year due to weather problems early in the season.
Still, though, lots of good apples around like this poem from you.
The title is about the poem as should be IMO
My favorite lines are here:
the earth's perfume
is strong and sweet
as it devours what is
left of summer.
The aromas and even sounds, of autumn are unique yes?
Thanks and return soon,

~Mark~

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You are attentive in acknowledging that this year's autumn is not what I was writing about. It was back in 2016 and I remember every nuance of that experience which I tried to capture in this poem. According to your observations, like those of others here, I guess I did ok. I have one question, what does IMO mean?
Thanks, and I will be back on those days that I am feeling better.

~ Marthalyn

author comment

And yes, I understood it was a poem from the past. I was just noting the contrast.
Later,

~Mark~

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Hi Marthalyn. Let me start by telling you I love your poem. It is full of breathtaking imagery. I think this poem is a winner so I was hoping you would enter it in the Oct contest. I plan on entering something too but you've got it all over mine. I just wanted to tell you this reminds me of some of Mark's poetry and as we all know he is a great poet. It is a real beauty!

B9Pat

I'm glad my poem had a positive meaning for you. After all, poetry is art and the purpose of art is to draw out the imagination of others, which is unique by definition. It is a good thing to recognize what has meaning for you, but not necessarily by comparing your work with others. I think your work is good and so did the contest judges!
Thanks,

~ Marthalyn

author comment

your imagery is outstanding as I read I saw !
The title of a poem and first suggestion might be something like Mother Natures moods just as an example of what I meanline is what will pull more readers in. Where your first line holds the reader imop the title is weak

I must confess, I don't know what "imop" means but I do understand your title suggestion. I tend to think of a human life in terms of Mother Nature's seasons. Living in the North-East makes the seasons demonstrative. I view Spring as childhood, Summer as youth, Autumn as mid-life, and Winter as the last ride on the ticket. When I wrote this poem, it meant 'Autumn' to me.
Thank you for your observations,

~ Marthalyn

author comment

Up there with the pros with your imagery and word sound. Feels like you have been influential by Oliver which is a wonderful thing. If I had to add anything I would consider one more line in the last stanza so they all have six.
Great poem.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

When I broke down the last stanza and created the 6th L, I did like the meter and image projection much more than the original. Thanks for your suggestion.

~ Marthalyn

author comment

I appreciate your review and suggestion, which makes sense to me in terms of form construction. I wrote this poem a few years ago using the dialogue that described my experience precisely. It flowed onto the page as I saw and felt it and I have never changed a word of it. That doesn't always happen to me. The last stanza in this poem always seemed to accentuate the full meaning of the season.
Thank you for your suggestions.

~ Marthalyn

author comment
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