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astray

glaciers of indifferent neon
flash impersonally
aloof
across an emotionless sea of
permutating
pinched
icy countenances

nibbling, numbing
apathetic winds
seek
infiltrate bone

stinging precipitation
marble cold
penetrates pores
with a weather-beaten shudder

cross-legged on the promenade
at the sidelines of
the main thoroughfare of trampling feet
unkempt dank dreadlocks
stooped
short sleeves
no shoes
a small fray-edged blanket

a glimpse of
lonely meagre possessions
pewter cup
plate
plastic cutlery....
unfed upturned Stetson

swarms pass
eyes dull, myopic
attention fixated on
some selfish far distant dream
ignorant
ignoring the desolate emptiness
of the alienated coffer

he stirs
eyes
naked
knowing
meet mine

shivering
suddenly feeling fallow
forsaken
I gaze into a reflection -
the uncaring cavern
of our fall from grace

and my heart hunches in sadness
with realisation
we are no closer to Home

an angel just told me

'

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I feel I must read it through again to catch it this time. Is this perhaps a romance coming in from the cold?

David

thanks for the visit and comment
sorry this wasn't clear enough for you
I may have to re think a little
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

it in one! It's about the introverted, selfish,uncaring, lethargy of our humanity! Loved it!
I really enjoyed the descriptive words that made up this poem. I don't remember the proper name for the form, but I call it imagery. Imagery at it's best! Great work! ~ Gee

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you've made me feel better :)
glad you got it
thanks for the great comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Sensuality oozes in the beginning of this...
and I like the transformation of the scene
of a descript to a personification
of character from that of nature
how the narrator feels...
to then the impact of man..
the beauty of power
in its greatness and or loss

I remember many of the homeless
or chosen to be lost peoples
many had money
many had nothing but had come
from worlds
of the top
their visions
and startling revelations
from them or the story
or after their passing
would be revealed..
The college degrees
big contracts and cash
flow...kids..trophy wives
family name etc..

like nature in her glory
stark sure..the terrible
raw beauty of it
pure..

Still this poem is fantastic
you have a natural ability
to capture this all and place
it here..

If I was hungry for words
when I arrived and I was
half awake in the afternoon
with fresh coffee cup
dressed up and no place
to go...

this was a supple meal
with refinement
and taste

Thank You JudyAnne

for the very kind comment and, as usual, beautifully poetic review
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Tragic and sad, but horribly relevant.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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thanks for the visit and comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

the first time I read this. Sometimes things need a set aside and return. Glad I revisited it.

for the return read and kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Alternating between Interpol and Lana Del Rey
two different styles..
two different haunts..

I borrowed...Ashtray..from Astray of your work
the objectification of inanimate of metaphor
to describe conditions of exchange verbal
and non verbal in your poem I adapted
in mine...The stare....the fix of eyes

But mine is vacant my work
where yours brims with rich
contour and textures

Im extending my foot
and bowing
(the good knee)

your work is so heartfelt
and easily read to the
reader

Thank You Judyanne!

thank you again
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

A beautiful look at some of the harsh things in life, I remember in 1999, August it was, I spent one month in a tent in a field my son was with me, my marriage had broken and at 57 it was hard but I came through.
An open fire one saucepan and a village toilet as a washroom, this reminded me of that time, it was hard but we fought back and it took nearly a year to be able to walk tall again but it is learning curve.
Even then I never thought I was alone or needed for anything, I shall re post shadow days tonight and you may be able to equate it with this place here when things go wrong.
I never take things for granted and have never needed maybe my want took care of that lol,
Yours Ian xx

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thnk you for the read and comments
I look forward to reading your 'shadow days'
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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