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Asperger's

Flawed perfection:
Extraordinary blaze of son.
You are not who you were.

Such a battle, wounded,
We are scarred, bloodied.
All our once-were stories are undone.

You are in the books of others,
Fat with history, agony,
Condemnation, hope:

Love in all its constellations
Bled dry.
The hardness of survival.

You - the diamond -
Reflect our fractured mirror:
Forgiveness

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Just to put this poem into context: Asperger's is an extraordinary and wonderful difference. Extraordinarily intelligent, empathetic, and complex - I am so proud to have a son with asperger's. The process of knowing is not easy though, it is difficult and painful. I have since also read a book about living with undiagnosed asperger's until adulthood (as he did) and love is not enough. Originally, I wrote the words 'I failed you' in the poem - but that puts the poem (which is the point of the exercise) into another place and changes the feel and context, so although I (the mother) wanted it there, the writer removed it.

Jenifer

author comment

to have thrived and survived so well. I've always loved him (platonically) and now feel even more admiration.

A powerful poem, though if I may suggest, there is an enormous amount of ignorance about Aspergers and perhaps the poem could include some of what it means to the person's experience of the world.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I agree. This is my first attempt to find the words: my apology to my beloved son.

I think that using words to (create/explain/form a dialogue) - not quite sure what exactly - something this complex/complicated/hard/extra ordinary is a slow process. Because it has been so hard existing through the time, I think there will be a process of poems. I keep using the word 'think' because this knowledge is so new, reflection is important. Each poem needs to come in it's own time, as part of knowing - or messing it up completely, which has been my experience.

Jess, thank you for your support: you are amazing. Absolutely amazing.

Jenifer

author comment

A lovely write on such a complex subject, though having been there first hand with your Son one would think it gave you an edge.
It was lovely to see you comment that :- I am so proud to have a son with asperger's, hit me with a mix of feelings, that you and your son's bond, is really something else.
Something to be so proud of in many ways, well, done young Lady and my thoughts go out to you both that your love continues always,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I suppose the other thing is that experience offers us a fertile place for more stories, poems and creativity. I am also so glad to have also survived more or less intact (we always have a selfish edge), but I am also thankful for the life we've had. This has been one of the hardest stones I have ever turned, and for my son, almost unimaginable. He's a star. Thank you.

Jenifer

author comment

I do not know of this, please elaborate. I can see that this is tough on you, but I look at you, because I see your doing all you can. I also see that their is a deep suffering inside of you. I would like to hear what it has cost you emotional to be the care provider, I feel that your hurt must be voiced to give you some kind of release, because you also live it every day.
Respect to you for never giving up!

Very touching write, but Jess is right I need more, so I can get a clearer picture of your journey together ( your son and you)

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Thank you, Eduardo.
In brief - the story of someone with Asperger's is an extraordinary one. Each story is unique. Often someone with Asperger's is exceptionally intelligent, empathetic, intuitive but it is a major difference in how the brain is wired. In Australia, someone with Asperger's calls me a 'normal person' or 'Normal' because I can cope with the world. People with Asperger's are different, reading body language differently, have deep anger, little or every day emotional pain for Normals can really, really, really hurt someone with Asperger's. I am not my son's carer, he is an amazing young man striding into the world, with great gifts to offer. But it has been tough, especially for him. In all things, though, experience offers fabulous new ground for creative writing including poetry. I will post more poems around this, but it's also about trying to write good poetry.
Please let me know your story, too.

Jenifer

author comment

thanks for the info, Then if it's like that I truly do not see a problem. I know a lots of people like that. I myself am one, Peoples body language was a major problem I read it the wrong way. I am so emotional that even watching a movie or reading a book affects me deeply. When I was in the service I was diagnose with aggression, but in that sphere it was promoted. Still today I have that problem at 60yrs old, but I have become a Taoist which has taught me how to channel that energy into productive things, hence trying to write poetry.
That's my story, which helps me understand your sons.

Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

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