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Artificial Emotion

In the altogether, breath of aether
Bound together, strips of leather
The tether, as light as a feather
Feeling the heather, slightly nether

Harmonious consistance, of resistance
Fulfilling assistance, to our existence
Craving coexistence, reality subsistence
Now the distance, is non existence

Giving our soul, the chance to controle
Always extol, every loss of control
Reaching a goal, as our bodies unroll
Low and behold, there's nothing to withhold

No greater desire, that we'll require
Every ripped attire, that we retire
Is left beside her, as it will transpire
As we lit the fire, she got me higher

Then any drug known, she was my own
Hearing my moan, she cast her stone
Everlasting bemoan, constant atone
Now the toan, turned into a groan

Though the darkness, is artless
And starless, forever godless
Irregardless, I still wanted us
Finding solace, in all the parlous

Life is restricted, now that I'm addicted
Heart depicted, grievously afflicted
Just as predicted, forever constricted
Always acquitted, even though omitted

No more than one, I was abandoned
Now this compassion, with no companion
More than none, what have I done
No interaction, love rarefraction

Disguised contrast, of a blurry past
Couldn't surpass, or make it last
Now grown biassed, playing miscast
Will I out last, or will it be rehashed

Memories replay, as they decay
As I convey, I will kneel a pray
Refusing to portray, the small cliche
Choose to slay,
Forever and a day.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
If its to good to be true, it probably is.....
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


choosing to use so many sound-a-like rhyming words to write a poem; is that you will eventually run out of words to use and be forced to repeat. [Which you have done a couple of times.] Also you have a couple of misspellings, that you have missed. [Typos]. Lol

1] Control[ e]
2] [than, instead of then in line 1- verse 5
3] [toan] should be tone
4] line 2 last verse, should be [and] rather than a.

Nonetheless, you have a pretty good poem here for your first post. Welcome to Neopoet! I look forward to seeing more from you. ~ Geezer.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Thank You!

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