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‘I need to find my room
you're new here aren't you?
I can't ask the nursing staff
if they think I'm getting lost
they'll want to transfer me to the locked section

darling Marlene
she's the occupational therapist
put a flower on my door so that I could find my way
a picture of a rose
it is my favourite flower as well as my name
without it there on my door
I might wander for hours unable to find my room
but I still have a problem
you see
there are lots and lots of doors
in many passageways
sometimes I accidently go outside
and then I get a bit confused
but I don't think anyone has noticed yet
I've just had dinner
and I remember my room is to the left
I need to turn left from the dining room door
and I did
so this must be the correct passage
Maryellen
do you know Maryellen?
Maryellen says that they are poisoning us
I don't really think that is true
but I must say the meal tonight was a little strange looking
I don't know what it tasted like
I didn't eat it
I got rid of most of mine
I scraped it onto Alice's plate
while the nurse was talking to ‘Fred-how-do-you-know-my-name’
have you met him?

I think I should turn right here
it's so silly
I have no trouble remembering people
just directions
oh I am sure this is the right way
all these rooms look the same
but there are no pictures of roses on any of the doors
and those doors that are open
well, none of the beds are
covered with my bedspread
my bedspread's purple
I like purple things
my favourite colour is purple
do you like this cardigan I have on?
it's more pink than purple I know
but I like purple things
Maryellen's bedspread is green
but she doesn't really like it
she doesn't care though
she says she's not a colours person
Maryellen is more concerned with the nurses
she thinks they are trying to kill her
she yells at them sometimes
and threatens to call the police
she does call them every now and then
they came out to investigate the first couple of times
now when she calls them they don't come
Maryellen says they are in cahoots with the nurses
I go to her room sometimes after lunch
you have to turn right from the dining room to go to her room
she lets me sit in her old cane wicker chair
and shows me photos of her children
and grandchildren
and great-grandchildren
I don't have any children
I was never married
I have nephews and nieces though
they are very kind to me
they visit quite regularly and bring flowers and chocolates
I have a chocolate for you in my room
I'll give it to you when we find it
oh dear if we don't find my room soon the nurses might notice
I used to be a nurse
I know what they look for
and it'll be transfer for me
to the locked unit
the minute they think I'm getting lost

I found a little lost boy once
it was in the bush
he was lost for three days
I found him
now I can't find my room
I had my photo in the paper
it was when I was working
in a hospital in the outback
a long time ago now
it was a big search
the police co-ordinated it
George used to be a policeman
do you know George?
George is lucky he hasn't been transferred
he forgets sometimes that he's old and retired
a few weeks ago he went down to the end of the street
and they found him directing traffic
at the round-a-bout
apparently not doing a very good job either
all the cars were banked up
it is a busy street at times
at least that's what I heard one of the nurses say
I couldn't cross a busy street now
I'm too slow
I have to use this frame to keep my balance
I used to run in cross country
I have medals and trophies for wins and places
I was quite fast
I used to swim too
Maryellen was a good swimmer
she has medals from schoolgirl swim meets
and she might've made the Olympics she says
but she fell pregnant
her grandchildren are ballroom dancers
three of them
she shows me photos of them in their beautiful dresses
I used to love dancing
there were dances every Saturday night when I was young
I can't dance now
my arthritis won't let me
but at least I'm better off than poor Frank
do you know Frank?
he can't walk anymore
he had a stroke
now he has to get around in a wheelchair

you know I think we'll have to go back
and turn right into that passageway we just passed
I think my room is up there
Frank and I play scrabble every Wednesday
I'm very good with words but Frank often beats me
not by much mind you
and sometimes I beat him
yes we have to go down this way I am sure
oh look
look how the sun shines through that window
it's making a path like the yellow brick road
this must be the right way
it is very hot isn't it?
perfect weather for the beach
I used to go to the beach every day when I was a young girl
and I was in the girls' brigade in the war years
my skin is still very brown from all that time in the sun
and my hair used to be blonde
it is grey now and I have to dye it
and it has lost a bit of its natural curl
but it's still mine
not like Mary's
do you know Mary?
she wears a wig
she has cancer
she goes every week to the hospital for treatment
one day she couldn't find her wig
they found it after she went to the hospital
it was blocking up Jack's toilet
he says he doesn't know how it got there
anyway she borrowed my hat
it is a pretty hat
a purple one with a big brim
I'll show it to you when we get to my room
when I find it
it has a rose on the door
it is my favourite flower
it is my name too
I'm the only Rose here at the moment
a rose amongst all the thorns
so Marlene says
do you know Marlene?

this looks a bit familiar
I think I recognise that painting there
we should go right again here
it is strange though
I thought my room was closer to the dining room than this
it didn't seem to take me as long to get there
I'm just getting slower I suppose
slowly but surely so Esther says
do you know Esther?
she used to be a singer
she still sings all the time
she has a lovely voice
she's very posh
always dresses immaculately
always wears a scarf too
a long one like that Isadora Duncan
do you know Isadora Duncan?
she's very friendly with Lilly
Esther I mean
not Isadora
she's dead
do you know Lilly?
she has a picture of a lily on her door
she's very forgetful
she should be transferred before me
one day she caught the bus to the casino
in her dressing gown and slippers
and one of Esther's scarfs
the nurses were really angry with the bus driver
for not thinking something strange was up
Esther was really angry with Lilly
for wearing her scarf
the police brought her back
that made George really happy
he sprang to attention and became very officious
and he gave them orders where to take her as they brought her in
they didn't take her to matrons office though
then Maryellen tried to tell the police about the food again
but I don't think they were really listening

Lilly told me that although she had had a really good time
and the staff at the casino gave her endless cups of tea and biscuits
they wouldn't let her play the pokies

I think if we go right again we'll be almost there
oh look
here's Maryellen's room
that's her wicker chair
and
yes
there's the dining room
we go left from the dining room

oh look, there it is, there
on the right
the rose on that door
see that door with the picture of a rose on it?
that's my room...’

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