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The Appointment ....the finale /////imprint

''As my time is nearing
the coast of time
Soon I may also be
non -existent...''

A very young girl
we knew
just went into the ops room
and said

‘’meet you on the other side.’’

We all stand by the side of the river
when the stream will engulf us
no one ever knows

We just look blank
into wilderness
who is calling us
from where

She came into my dreams
and said

''friend come over
its fun and folic here
Oh you need not fear..''

So impressed by her great
intense message
as she spoke to me
before she really departed
I felt such a surge
as if she was calling me

She was too young
much younger than us

but the unknown force
can call any one
any time
anyone
without any fuss

So worry not our fraternity.
Time is always a mystery
those who come must go
but when?
even heavens do not know.

That is the best part of the living show.....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

This is one of the best poems you have shared here, which makes me think it is based on a real event. That being the case, you have my deepest sympathy.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

speak the whole truth
this is a recent occurrence
sad emotional
but factual

thanks for the consolation
life is like a flower
it's a bud
flowers open
then erupts
fragrance merges with the universe
ether!

author comment

A lovely tribute to a young girls acceptance of another sojourn, one filled with the love of all time.
We have more to learn and the little girl has taught you so much and maybe just maybe her whole purpose to being here fleetingly was to give you that message and for you to learn the meaning of life in its entirety locked in a few words, "Meet you on the other side" affirmation of another thought.
Young loved you still have much to do and many ways to walk, then when your lessons have been learned you can come sip a cup of Blue Mountain Coffee with me.
One of your best works and a way ahead for you to venture, Yours Ian..
It reminded me of that little girl that called me "Poppy"..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I have been missing your blessings Ian
I have been missing your blessings Ian
I have been missing your blessings Ian

the only one
who really knows my worth
is you
O man
Ian
BLESS you
If I can!
O poetic man
A cup of coffee
keep ready if you can

as soonly we all will be on the other side
then we will have
all we need
O Man!

author comment

I have changed the drink to Coffee of the Blue Mountain type.
A seat for you to rest but there's a problem, in that state of being, you will need for nothing, but there we can have everything.
There in the light we will swirls as only pure energy can do and be anything we wish to be.
I will still keep a cave and there we can teach each other of the ways of eternity,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

you too Ian
do most of the time

we all are moving along
in a caravan called
TIME
so rhyme and chime
having cappuccino coffee
is no crime...
its taste is prime

author comment

visit and comment
poet of our clan

author comment

enjoyed it

True lovers endure pain

Don't make haste
just to waste...

sex and marriage need COMPROMISE.....
at times one is down...
at other times the other......

the opposite one must up- lift the downer ...
and then move on--------
most of you make haste and search another ...

it's really a waste .....
meditate and recoup/regain your love......
all humans need compassion..
both men and women

even men,
though they don't show
are often more emotional..

manly ego at play mostly.....
more of the time
so be friends like a doc and patient
have patience!
Amen..

must see
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0YxeTjFn70

it's a beauty

author comment

I do like the poem but also feel
it could be improved. Your title,
although a good one is used so
much during the write it steals
the power. If it were me, I'd change
the title, something cryptic that will
be understood during the readers
visit.

You succeeded in delivering a
passionate poem, thank you for
sharing it.

can you suggest a striking title
I'd love it

thanks for the read

author comment

modified
now perhaps a changed
Title
as you may suggest
may make the poetry
more intense
thanks
lovedly /moonman

author comment

Your small changes have completed this write.
As Richard said the title should be an invitation, now it is and draws the reader in..
The subtle change in that one line is all that is needed.
The little girl that called me Poppy, was the same as this little messenger, you just have to know who they are but maybe this will always take a time, then one day as with this poem the understanding of her words washes over your mind with rainbow colours.
Take care young Bard and know there are many that care..
Yours Ian.

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

flew away to make a cup of cappuccino for this
Lovedly
bard
Thank you all for your consideration

author comment

A friend's appointment with love.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

She actually passed away
the following day
did not let me know
she was really going
this one time.....

May be she did not want to hurt
a deaf ole man

Her soul
if any now rests in peace.

This is the first poem of actuality
I have ever composed

All else I muzzle in

author comment

leaves behind a gal 19
and distraught
hubby and pop

she was to go much early
but stayed on
God's smaller mercies
perhaps
thanks
SNOW JERRY

author comment

and my arm in leather jacket
behind Raybans
he may see my photo posted
in the shack
'do not allow this one in'
his work is not done!
wall of infamy..no wreck for the wretched'
my condolances
to those truly good
the passing will leave its wake
for the crocodiles with their
snout they will slip ere where
they most be happiest

may the beyond be truly as
rocking as we desire

there now....U have asked
and U have recieved my
view Lovedly
but I like that U do ask
then mere want
for only works recieve
the reap of faith
and belief!

another great write from
U who indeed cares about
the fellows then whinge
of the pure self

U salvage the old school
view of togetherness and
joy of living!

Mr Wolf!

Esker

now
Mr Wolfe

author comment

like a mont to a calme
it plains me to say
like ol abraham would
bray..

W

U SAY
MR WOLFE IS ESKER TODAY

author comment

i equine inquire?
horshoes!!

tah!

In stables !
do tell me
why horses need lights on at night
as they stand and sleep
in stables

author comment

Now you have drank of the praise, know that reality is sometimes cruel, but look at it from all angles dear loved.
The lady in question did linger and affect your reason for many years, giving you time to assess your inner being.
Did you learn from this lady and as I said earlier the reason for a spirit is a mystery.
Do we learn from them, or do we teach them, or is it once again a mutual event that touches two spirits, where each in their own place learn from the other.
That glow has lit a pathway for you, and I hope that in these years of being separated from that one event, it enhanced the girls journey.
Each day young Bard we meet like spirits as we journey on, waste not one learning moment and send unconditional love to her for the gift she gave you..
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Ian
A M E N

author comment

"We all stand by the side of the river
when the stream will engorge us
no one ever knows "
lovely stanza.

Your use of archaic poetic language like
"ere she really went
I felt such an emotion"
Never works, and using the word emotion is like using the word beauty in poetry, it must be evoked, not just the word used.

I really dislike references to other poets, it's already too much an exclusive club, when you refer to Neopoets it is unforgivable ass-licking.

Not keen on the divinity references, not just my atheism, it is a bit like 'beauty' or 'emotion' it is a way of not saying something.

Brilliant last line-
That is the best part of the living show.....

Your tenaciousness, grace and forgiveness make me love you more than your poetry does.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

your love for me,
still an upcoming poet
well over seven decades old

''sends electric currents up my spine
I shiver
but not shudder''

poetry, beauty, emotion,
archaicism
and
god, divinity
will be reconsidered
if the poetry is not transformed

back into hibernation
into its nascent cell

as all shells
can't produce oysters
few alone produce
invaluable gems

You all read
and
help me grow
as a poet of credence
(no ass licking here)
no comparison
we all are poets

unique

some sweep
others make readers weep
and
they alone are true poets
all poetry is splendour
if communication is tender

we all stand by the ocean of Time
which we call life
in moderna vocabulary
mark this poetry
only if you wish

author comment

You know there was a time when I really couldn't stand you, and even though you still give me the creeps sometimes, all my heroes are weirdos, I have come to appreciate you, your poetry and even become very fond of you.
In this case familiarity dispels instead of breeds contempt,
xx

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

cheers
let it remain a mystery
what you want to say to me
jess

author comment

Jess said he has grown to like you, as indeed I think we all have.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

all friends
who have now started liking me
thanks regards salaams and salutes bows courtesies etc

and any kind of salutations you may prefer

author comment

One word stands out to me as being.....not the best. "engorged" just doesn't seem right somehow. Try some alternates such as engulfs, swallows, digests, takes.....you get the point and I'm sure you can come up with many other options. But the poem with just a fast read is good I think.............stan

You have recieved a ton of great feedback here. I think your changes have really helped this poem as well so it is great to see you really workshopping and everyone joining in. This is exactly what Neopoet should be about. Even though this poem is a part of the tragic reality that many people are taken from this earth at too young of an age, you've captured what it can be like for the people who are left behind. Your poem is a good example of the motto "carpe diem" and how we must cherish life. A poem like this will connect with lot of readers, which you can see it has already done.

"We all stand by the side of the river
when the stream will engulf us
no one ever knows"

I really like the change to engulf here. I think it fits really well and could even be open to interpretation, depending on if we either fear or embrace the water as it comes to us.

If I could add my few small suggestions:

So worry not our fraternity.
Time is always a mystery
those who come must go (remove the comma from this line)
but when? (add a question mark to this line)
even heavens do not know.

I think these two small changes in punctuation would make this stanza flow more smoothly for me. When I read it aloud, the pause after the comma sounded unnecessary and a I think a question mark would give the right inflection and pause to the second to the last line for readers to stop and ponder for a moment.

Thank you for reminding me to come back to this one.

Take care,
Kelsey

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You may now read the
Final version

author comment

superbly poignant

Joe Sir
so kind of you
get well soon
and yes you will

keep your poetic brain active
let words like Niagara water Falls,
fall and see how a wealth of knowledge you flow
from one to all to Niagara who go

I am also
one

author comment
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