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APPARITION

I saw, it saw, we saw each other in the dark,
the lark had gone to rest, the stars came out,
the park was clothed in mist, the mist of winter's dress,
its breath the breath of owls or eagles in their nests,
that rips the air with talons of disguise,

we close our eyes and blast the fog away,
to stand revealed as apparitions,
forced to birth from skies of stormy clouds,
you stood there naked only clad with hair,
that swayed about your form caressing it,

your eyes were green as I could see them gleam,
and as your body moved across the stream,
they changed into a blue, then mist enveloped you;
who were you, who am I, once seen,
the ghosts of other worlds make weird existence,
foremost and one wonders what reality is.

When here, the lawns exude their damp,
and swamp the rose bushes and hiding fawns,
all things are eerie when we go to bed,
our heads lie heavy on the pillow,
dreams spread through the night, a blight ,

the light of twilit gloom looms about as if possessed,
incoherent murmuring arises and fly's about like echoes
from the deep of forest glades, where fairies dance in rings,
the nightingales sing their liquid notes, that drift
over the thoughts that come and go in consciousness
that doubts its own beliefs in drapes and shades of illusion.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Last few words: 
:)
Editing stage: 

Comments

Glad you liked this Lonnie, thank you for your generous words of encouragement, is not easy to gauge oneself is it; we need others to see with us into a poem to give it wings, and you have here.

Anninthemist

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

I loved the flow. It is like the words are dancing. well written

Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

Thank you Linda, they come like that mostly for me, I suppose its many years of writing words, and listening to music, mostly classical along with ethnic old traditional folk music, dance too, I loved to dance, still do, but not so well!
As regards your slogan, I know of someone who was hit in the night, her face was unrecognisable, she was bound and gagged, luckily she tightened her fists as he tied her up, so could work herself free, she climbed out of the window falling on the ground, and crawled to the front door of the flats, where she rang all the bells.

She went around with an alarm for a number of years, but I think she became a stronger person for the experience, I think its one's own way that tells, if one wants it to make one stronger this can be worked on, giving up and worrying, well it seems the less attractive view of it.

I think things that have affected me adversely have strengthened me, but perhaps the strength lay latent anyway, I am so sympathetic with those who cannot help themselves, wish I could do something to help them see that it is themselves who can be of best help.

Love Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

thank you for your comments, however I do not feel helpless. I have survived death 3 times. once as an infant with double pneumonia, 2nd time in childbirth, nearly bleeding to death, and 3rd time was t-boned by pick up truck, and had a near death experience with the "Light"
I know there are many others who have suffered far worse, and I have no right to even mention my experiences. what these experiences have done for me is to make me more compassionate. This is the reason I became a hospice nurse. I understand.
Do I remember my near death experience as an infant? It's in there somewhere, apparently,as my greatest compassion goes to those patients who cannot breathe because of lung disease.

Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

You hang in there, if you don't feel strengthened
I am sure all who come into contact with you do.
Wow don't some people get all the problems,
but as always we have to sail above them somehow,
unless we cave in.

Dear Linda, write a poem about it!
LuvAnn.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

no problems to note at all

lovely imagery in
'‘the park was clothed in mist, the mist of winter's dress,
its breath the breath of owls or eagles in their nests,
that rips the air with talons of disguise’

and i really like
.... the ghosts of other worlds make weird existence, --- (but do you need the comma here?)
foremost and one wonders what reality is
.... thoughts that come and go in consciousness,
that doubts its own beliefs in drapes and shades of illusion.’

love judyanne
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Oh you do make me feel good judyanne, I took away the comma. Anni once said its was the custom to put a comma at the end of each line, and inverted commas have almost become obsolete? So I was doing the right thing, but I agree more here with you.

There was so much talk somewhere about apparitions and ghosts that I thought I had better have a go at it too, I don't mind them, but I do mind vampires, no love of that sort of subject, unless, as a metaphor they could be descriptive of someone, or something. Bu anything is a challenge isn't it?

Thank you for you nice comment.
annanya

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

I felt captured by that place between the real and unreal. In 1st stanza line 3 you might try the veil or lace of winter's dress to avoid a close repeat............stan

I liked the repeat, the repeat of the sound, of the meaning consistent with the subject, I don't feel that that kind of repeat is excessive, its when it comes on the next line connected to another idea or thing, that repeat can annoy, I don't know if this is correct thinking, but that's how I feel about it.

The rhythm and the sound of a repeated word give it a dance-like quality and explain it well, but I shall see, given time, I might change my mind. Thank you stan.

Ann

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment
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