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Anticipation
Secretly
I lay
A pink Hibiscus
In my lovers bath
My heart races
With delightful
Anticipation
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This poem actually is a true snapshot of my wedding night, my wife was undressing and I poured her a bubble bath. The hibiscus and bubble bath I had pre planned... It worked as planned
Editing stage:
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Comments
Sparrow
Fri, 2015-12-25 03:31
Bud
Seems like romance is still alive in remote corners of the globe, a good small write Welcome to out site and I hope to see many more writes and your interaction with many of us, Yours Ian.T
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Buddha
Sun, 2015-12-27 21:00
Thank you Bud for your
Thank you Bud for your critique, I look forward to writing more and learning more form reading other poets work. Thank you so much. Buddha...
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2015-12-25 22:55
Nice
Love the whimsical way you wrote this lovely Imitate piece
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
Buddha
Sun, 2015-12-27 21:03
Thank you so very much
Thank you so very much Barbara for your critique. I love to write Haiku and will start again soon. Buddha...
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2016-01-03 21:38
Great
Stop by my workshop collaborative poetry writing (renga) anytime and share your haiku.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
lovedly
Sat, 2015-12-26 21:27
for a moment I thought
Buddha had returned
as if he were still unmarried
trying to make amends
to his lovely wife
Buddha
Sun, 2015-12-27 21:06
I loved your critique Lovedly
I loved your critique Lovedly, My wife inspires everything I do including writing poetry. Buddha
lovedly
Mon, 2015-12-28 00:06
great
hope u will stay
alidzain
Mon, 2015-12-28 10:33
Bro
Good one. Keep on writing!
Alid
Joan Rolls
Fri, 2016-01-15 05:43
I wish more husbands would
I wish more husbands would pen emotions. Lovely
Buddha
Fri, 2016-01-15 12:16
Thank you for your comment. I
Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate your response. Some men have trouble with emotions, I grew up with a father who did not encourage or tollerate emotions from anyone in the family. My wife helped me through that and I am still learning.