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Answers? There....

Submitted by BlueDemon77 on Tue, 2012-08-07 19:37

Answers? There...
-
answers? there
30 years devoid of air
clouds pushing low to ground
I am found, I am found
in a basement in Ohio
for fear of storm
the norm, the norm
-
I felt the blade on my forehead
briefly but
the cheers and dread
were mixed
I did the job
fixed up
free
called
debauchery
or whatever you like
the spike, the pike, the microphone
the words turn like
a telephone............................one way
-
another day
another glitch
another razor
another stitch
another mending
another itch

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This, at times has been taken as a 'cutter' poem. This is not the case. It is about my interaction with the independent Professional Wrestling scene and my reputation at the time as someone who would do pretty much anything for the show. What I'm describing is 'gigging', where the ref would provide a piece of taped razor blade to facilitate bloodflow from a superficial scalp wound. As sick and strange as it may sound, it wasn't traumatic, in fact, it eliminated my inhibitions and made me feel cool. This is dedicated to WXW, XPW, 3PW, Pro Wrestling Guerilla, ROH, NWA Midwest and Midsouth, CZW, IWA, Ohio Pro, John Zandig, Brian Heffron, Arthur "Afa" Anoa'i, Ian Rotten, and Adam "Scrap Iron" Pierce for many scars and even more great memories. We were all a little cracked.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

weirdelf

Wed, 2012-08-08 06:20

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I thought of the movie "The Wrestler" and that ghastly scene where they do the bitch slap with the stapler and broken glass. More than a little cracked, I'd say, but all my experience of fighting has been trying to hurt someone seriously enough with whatever was at hand to stop them hurting me. Real fights. I guess the scars are just as real, if deeper, both physically and emotionally. Once, while a 200 pound bruiser held me up by the throat and laughed at me, not even bothering to throw a punch, another bloke bit a piece out of my mates ear. Not fun, but possibly entertaining to the many onlookers.

An excellent, powerful poem with effective use of repetition. That opening stanza really raises it several existential notches from what it could have been. I like your style.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

BlueDemon77

Tue, 2012-08-14 14:58

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There are three parts here, the first is not explained at all but hints at something powerful and dark. The second part is realistic, there is nothing in there I haven't personally seen or experienced. I even toned it down. There are things from XPW, IWA, and CZW King of the Death Matches that rival Roman debauchery. Guys in weed-whacker matches spelling out KOTD and the Year in the blood pouring faucet like from their foreheads. In XPW wrestling New Jack and Vic Grimes fought on a 40 foot scaffolding. Grimes gets thrown off and almost overshoots the ring, hitting the ropes with only one ankle. Enough to save his life but he was lucky. The third part I put in because in previous incarnations I got that condescending "oh you poor thing, you cut yourself, you must be in pain". In actuality, I'd rather cut myself than be so misconstrued. I'm glad you like it!

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

Geezer

Sun, 2012-08-12 12:23

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what anyone says, a poem has to strike me in the emotions. The only rules, that I know of any import in poetry are the ones that make it sound right. I had thoughts of some type of rapper in a gang initation while reading it. After seeing your last few words, It all made perfect sense!

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BlueDemon77

Tue, 2012-08-14 15:05

BlueDemon77's picture

When you put your life in each other's hands each night there is a serious dynamic of rare second chances. On the other hand, pity the group of drunken shlubs that want to attack one of us. We knew hooking techniques (jointlocks that caused either submission or a broken bone). It was very much a gang mentality. Thanks Geez~

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

judyanne

Mon, 2012-08-13 03:20

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the mind boggles ... lol - what we'll do for the show eh?
i think it applies in some subtext to all of society - the seeming bloodthirstiness of humanity

my one suggestion
change the numerals 30 to the word thirty

enjoyed
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

BlueDemon77

Tue, 2012-08-14 15:11

BlueDemon77's picture

Yeah, I've thought about this alot. My final thought is that a just a couple thousand years ago, it was a real fight to the death, whereas now, it is very athletic actors putting on a realistic show and though people still get hurt badly, it's nothing like before. I can see that as an evolution. I agree the thirty is better than the 30. Thanks much Judy. Nice catch on the sub-level of the brutality of humanity. I felt the more pressure I put on it, the less effective it would be.

Thanks again!

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

Ian.T

Mon, 2012-08-13 04:18

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With such a play with words you may have, and the ability to write, I think that to write such a scanty piece, and then explain the whole thing with your comments at the end rather defeated the object of writing it.
Had you used your obvious ability to paint a picture no matter how gory, of the whole scene then it would have been a great write ????
I felt as if the final bell had gone, and we had left to go about our other tasks, sorry.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

BlueDemon77

Tue, 2012-08-14 15:19

BlueDemon77's picture

No worries, I structured the poem the way I did because there is a before, during, and after. Try to look at it from that angle (what causitive factor would cause the mindset, the actualization of it, and an explanation so nobody thinks I'm some kind of emo cutter. In earlier incarnations of the poem, I inevitably would get that "oh, you're a cutter, I'm so sorry for you." The project you're talking about will be pulp prose. For this one, one that I lived, I wanted to make sure I want nor need anyone's pity. I can live with folks think I'm a bit cracked but I will not tolerate being compared to a cutter. If I ever do that other project, I'll let you know.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

loved

Mon, 2012-08-13 13:50

loved's picture

'''''another day
another glitch
another razor
another stitch
another mending
another itch.....''''''''

.....'''''another ditch
another pitch
another screaming bitch....
maybe that's what one sees
when one is in the gory of it all,
some pain
some sorrow
but clap the multitudes all
a bout perhaps of joy
and
happiness for the boxer’s collection
ends in matchlessness
that’s what all wrestling is about
another money making
stitch perhaps
after all.

loved

BlueDemon77

Tue, 2012-08-14 15:24

BlueDemon77's picture

Yeah, there were elements of what you said throughbut your critique that are very much authentic in the PW world. It's like being a combination carny, athelete, actor, stunt man, and celebrity.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment
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