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Another Woman Stabbed

Submitted by Robert Melliard on Fri, 2014-06-20 19:25

I see another woman has been stabbed to death.
She had sixteen wounds.
I suppose there could have been more.

A man has been arrested.
It usually is a man, isn't it?

At least she wasn't raped,
which makes this a rare case.

But I've seen so many horrors of this kind
(and acid attacks, beatings,
stonings, whippings and so on)
in over fifty years of T.V. news
that I'm ashamed of being a man.

It must be something in our genes, right?
Hopefully in just a minority of us -
but what a minority!

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2014-06-21 15:23

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that this is poetry. It reads more like a narrative. However, I would just like to add, that when women kill, it is usually by more subtle means, like poison. Moreover they are more inclined to want you to suffer, rather than just beat or stab you to death. They would rather wreck your life and watch you suffer. ~ Gee

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Robert Melliard

Sat, 2014-06-21 17:45

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i admit that women may be more devious but surely the number of female murderers is much lower than the number of males. I think we might be talking about 90% machos! One day we men will have to face up to our innate aggressiveness. Best wishes, Robert.

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Geezer

Sun, 2014-06-22 07:15

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I agree, that we males have more capability for violence. Most likely because of survival-mode. Any threat had to be met with violence. I'm sure that there are a lot more murders by women than thought. They just hide it better! LOL~ Gee

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This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Robert Melliard

Sun, 2014-06-22 13:16

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regarding your first comment that I think that if meaning is strong enough form becomes less important, so it is still possible to call this poetry. It is definitely not prose because it separates lines so much, therefore inviting a more intense attention from a reader. That's my hope, at least...
Best wishes,
Robert.

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Geezer

Mon, 2014-06-23 19:49

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that I have to agree with your comment about it still being considered poetry, but I think if it had a bit more rhythm it would qualify better. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

weirdelf

Tue, 2014-06-24 09:02

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let me hazard a guess. You don't read much poetry, do you?
You write beautifully and with sound ideas and with not very many poetic values. May I suggest you do read some poetry, start with the classics, the Romantics, The Beats, you will soon develop the "ear".

A superb book "The Ode Less Travelled" by the wondrous Stephen Fry is a great grounder.

This poem reminder me of one of mine
Symptoms of testosterone, Part 2

A predilection,
oft pursued,
for high velocitys
on wheels, waves or wings.
Causes grievous atrocities
and premature endings

Bright loud explosions,
and rampant destruction,
See men drawn like flies
to a demolition ball in action,
Renting Die Hard lies
and Arnies excesses
Causes grievous atrocities
and cultural distresses.

Prognosis uncertain,
gender survival threatened.
Prescription for this hex?
Oh that’s simple.

Frequent joyous sex!

Part 1 was howled off Neopoet as being too outrageous even for this eccentric, somewhat mad and highly tolerant mob!

Welcome again and I look forward to more of your work.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Robert Melliard

Tue, 2014-06-24 09:14

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I really have read a lot of poetry, in fact at university that was about all I did. But that doesn't mean I can't explore possibilities which may be non-poetic in traditional terms. I try to talk about real issues in modern life, and they sometimes require more head than heart. But if your read a more romantic poem of mine called This Time, My Love I hope you'll see that I'm also able to use more recognised poetic methods.
Best wishes,
Robert.

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weirdelf

Tue, 2014-06-24 09:25

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for my presumption.
I will read more of your work.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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