Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

And with A Smile

Sleep you say and with a smile
Dismiss me for a little while
Now left alone here one more time
Allowing dreams to fill my mind.

But could you see beyond the smile
There swims a lonely crocodile
In frigid waters dark and deep
I pray for peace in which to sleep.

And when sleep calls me one more time
A frightful thought invades my mind
Are nightmares real can someone say
What words will make them go away.

Suburban jungle how quiet the night
My crocodile swims out of sight
Yet sleep you say and with a smile
Dismiss me for a little while

Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
dare to be different
Editing stage: 


great theme, great meter
nothing to crit or to offer for improvement
i really like the envelope - the repeating of the first two verses at the end - it rounds it off, completing it and bringing the reader back to the original thought
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Thank you Judy, it's nice to receive the fuel of praise it makes for a more interesting journey

author comment

Reminds me of The Fall and Rise of Mr. Perrin" remember, he always saw his mother-in-law as a rhinoceros, although other aspects are meant here, not the comic, of course. This could be developed into a children's verse so well. Its like rolling over in bed among things familiar.

Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

gr8 poem

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.