Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

And The Eagle Flies

Submitted by alidzain on Mon, 2016-01-04 14:24

Spreading his mighty wings,
the eagle leaves the proud peacock,
still strutting around, boasting
his colourful feathers on an old rock
while he embraces the sky
to witness the vast land
through heaven's eyes.

Let the peacock basks in glory,
seeing only what he wants to see.
The wise eagle knows better
than to waste time in idle chatter
when there is so much more to see
and learn beyond a peacock's beauty.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
The eagle represents the people who is willing to explore to gain knowledge while the peacockk represents the proud fools who believe they are already wise enough to claim themselves as the best.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Sat, 2016-07-02 01:20

Esker's picture

good analogy of things
the ego grooming
Eagle are beautiful
but so are peacock
wisdom and vaultedness
are precarious notions
and knowledge is sometimes
dangerous
why govts don not let the
people get ahold of a lot of
things...

who is more nobler of the two?

thankU!

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.