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Ancient Rock

Sacred rock of old,
Snake carvings,
Like footprints bold,
Of ancestor’s soul.

Ancient winds whisper,
Flowing over,
Caressing the mind,
Calming the senses.

Hearing the bay,
As waves,
Fight the land,
A never-ending battle.

Sacred fire crackles,
Calling the spirits,
Of clans nearby.

Fragrant smell of,
Sage and pine,
Blissfully calming,
Awakening the senses.

With gentle verse,
Animal clans,
Majestically did gestor,
Showing life's great tapestry.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


1] It makes me feel like I'm standing at some
ancient people's site. I think that maybe
you should use another word, like [ritual] in the line:

"[Sacred] fire crackles"

2] How about saying: Ritual fire crackles
So softly
Calling the spirits
Of clans nearby

3] You use: [Calming the senses] in the second stanza and then
Blissfully calming
Awakening the the senses
in the fifth stanza.

I would suggest that you maybe say: Blissfully calming
Yet clearing the mind

4] Majestically [gestured]

5] You don't need the punctuation after every line, [although I like the use of it in poetry
I feel that unless it's in the middle of a line; you don't need commas.

All-in-all, a very good poem that brings you to a peaceful, calming effect.
Nice job! ~ Geezer.

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