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Amending the Edges

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Mon, 2021-09-20 20:28

I don't know when the change came for me
It's not like a date you can mark on the calendar
With little still to prove to anyone,
the edges are worn now, smoother

The change, I think, came from living
and learning from all the mistakes and battles,
as well as a few skirmishes of the soul
I cherish all the ribbons awarded me,
secretly displayed on my heart

Now I can see diamonds on the water
I feel the sadness of boats, aground at low tide,
pleading for the water’s quick return
so they can fulfill their purpose again

I know now the sacredness
of every new morning granted,
and appreciate the lessons of hurt
In all its’ forms and incarnations

This awareness keeps the venom at bay,
giving me the choice to not drink it down
At least not enough to kill me

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Inspired by a poem by Bukowski: I could never accept life as it was I could never gobble down all its poisons but there were parts, tenuous magic parts open for the asking. I re-formulated I don't know when , date , time , all that but the change occurred. something in me relaxed , smoothed out I no longer had to prove that I was a man , I didn't have to prove anything . I began to see things; coffee cups lined up behind a counter in a café or a dog walking a sidewalk or the way the mouse on my dresser top stopped there with its body , its ears , its nose, it was fixed...
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2021-09-21 09:05

Geezer's picture
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Your title is very good and works well.
Your language use is solid and one doesn't have
to guess at what you are saying. Free verse is not
really my forte, but I know what I like and this
is really good! The pacing is smooth and steady
and I did not have to go 'round again to see where
you came from or where it is you are going.

I recognize a thought from another of your poems
["Now I can see diamonds on the water]and think
that the subtle reference, brings to me, a theme building.
Very, very nice stuff! ~ Geez.
.

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Michael Anthony

Fri, 2021-09-24 16:10

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Appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this Geez - thanks! I was definitely trying to reference an awareness that seems to have enabled me to see things I could not when younger. Good catch!

Cheers

Michael Anthony

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Ray Whitaker

Thu, 2021-09-23 20:09

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The wistfulness is appealing to me, i have my share. Have found that when I no longer think I need to prove anything, Life gives me something else (I must) to pay attention to. I truely do wish that I didn’t have to prove anything anymore, alas.

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Michael Anthony

Fri, 2021-09-24 16:12

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Thank you Ray! Yeah, seems like there is always something to prove to some extent, but this has lessened very noticeably for me as I've gotten older.

Cheers

Michael Anthony

author comment

Owl Has My Soul

Mon, 2021-09-27 09:04

I agree. This poem read so smoothly, with such measured building intensity that one arrives at the end fully understanding how gratitude and acceptance can be so healing.

Michael Anthony

Tue, 2021-09-28 17:42

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Appreciate the visit OHMS! Glad you enjoyed this one.

Best

Michael Anthony

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